SOS

I hated SOS pads when I was growing up--I guess because I associated it with doing the dishes. But I just used one again for the first time in years and I am amazed at how easily it cleans burnt potato off of a roasting dish. Now I LOVE SOS pads!

Murphy's Law

Snowman didn't come out for the elephants last night. As I'm getting ready, I'm not even considering the possibility of running in to someone I know at midnight on a Tuesday. But of course I do. I run into a guy I briefly dated many years ago and it's not like he's one of Those (i.e. someone you once dated whom you want to see again whilst looking fabulous and living fabulously and acting completely indifferent to, leaving him in the wake of your fabulosity thinking, "Why did I ever let her go?"), but still...I mean I'm wearing white sneakers, brown cords, a blue sweatshirt I've had since high school, a leather jacket and old baseball cap. I looked like I just came in from gardening...or robbing a liquor store. C'mon! Not even any lip gloss! What the frick?

The best minute of the year...

...was last night when the elephants came out of the Midtown tunnel and walked across 34th Street. Utter, complete joyfulness...

Duke of Windsor biopic

Biopics are so hot right now, someone really ought to jump on this. I've found a perfect mate for Jude Law's Duke: Laura Linney as Wallis Simpson. They both have the same sort of face. And Linney is quite versatile.

We've all done it. Drive-through fast food is the grease that keeps America's wheels spinning. It's speedy and easy and nobody makes a French fry like a clown.--Southern Living

FUN WORD ALERT!

I've always been fond of "Hawaiian." Not only is it fun to write in cursive, but it also has 4 vowels in a row! That doesn't happen very often...

I so dig Owen Wilson. He is so unbelievably charming on screen, I could watch him staple papers for two hours.

I un-heart the MTA

I'm so over the MTA! I used to be a very patient, understanding commuter, but they've really brought out my gnarly side. The other day I accidentally used my unlimited metrocard on the uptown side of the 6 instead of the downtown. This was one of those stations that you can't get to the other side without exiting and re-entering. Of course an unlimited card only works every 18 minutes (I find that very arbitrary, though I'm sure they conducted loads of research to come up with that number) so I explained my situation to the station attendant. She was so high and mighty! "Let this be a lesson to you...imuna cut you a break...next time you won't be so lucky..." And the worst part is that I said "thank you" after she let me in. I mean I said thank you because I have manners, but what I really wanted to do was punch her lights out. Maybe she did me a favor, but she did it with such meanness I should have just paid the $2.

Also on my list: I watch NY1 in the morning for the weather and the rail and road report. Today they reported no delays on mass transit. Yet when I get to the 6 train I find it is not running in either direction. I mean, maybe I'm persnickety, but I kind of consider that a delay!

Snowman and michellephant turned 4 last week.

One of my favorite pasttimes is figuring out which actors could play which other notables in biopics about said notable. My latest idea is Jude Law as the Duke of Windsor. I actually can't believe someone hasn't made this movie already as his life was quite scandalous at times. Anyway, Jude has the Duke's smile down pat. Plus, I must say, the Duke of Windsor was probably the best-dressed man I've ever seen.

Kurt Godel said that if time travel was possible time was impossible. If you could travel to the past then the past hadn't truly passed. I'm really fascinated by time travel...I believe, in some way, it will help me figure out if God really does exist or not. But it totally hurts my head.

On the other hand, one of my writing students wrote about how he is afraid of ghosts and phantoms and that is one of the things he likes least about himself. I really find this unbearably sweet. And one of my other kids wrote about how he gets bullied a little bit and I guess most kids go through that, but I just don't think I could stand it if my kid got bullied. I don't think I could stand it so much it makes me not want to have kids. My kid being a bully? That I could stand...but only a little bit more.

One of my 4th graders told me to fuck off. Ah, the sweet rewards of teaching...

Angry Dolphin called me all gloating because Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are getting divorced (Denise must have caught Charlie doing something to file for divorce whilst pregnant) and she picked them as one of her couples and now I owe her a movie. Only it turns out she picked them at first, but I talked her out of it so she went with Julia Roberts and Danny Moder. Who's gloating now? It's not the Angry Dolphin!

Plus, I won the Oscar pool at work. I knew I could be a productive member of society, I knew it!

Food For Thought

Went to seminar at Museum of TV & Radio yesterday called Edible Airwaves regarding Food Network. Moderator was Vogue food critic Jeffrey Steingarten, who was the oddest, crankiest little man ever and whom I believe must have a led a very interesting life to get to be such a way. I didn't really like him, yet I was strangely fascinated, kind of like Catherine Zeta-Jones. Alton Brown raised a good point when asked about showing a giant live fish on TV that was inevitably headed to the chopping block. He said a lot of cooks can't stand to kill cows or pigs or anything else they cook with and don't think they should have to, but he disagrees. He believes we must reckon with our place on the food chain and see ourselves for what we are. I think he's right. Do I want to see a pig get bled? Almost less than anything, but, man, I sure have eaten a lot of bacon. I feel like I owe it to the pigs and to myself to fully realize that for which I am responsible. No other animal in existence is so far removed from hunting it's own food. It seems hypocritical, ignorant and morally vain to be squeamish about the slaughter of these animals, but then get giddy over Beef Wellington. Humans love to forget that, above all else, we are just animals. I'm not saying I'm going to seek out an experience, but if someone were offering one, well, you know where to find me.