Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Oh, Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.

I feel like I should open this post with a joke:

Q: What do you call Dolly Parton in a bathtub?

A: Islands in the Stream.

But seriously, I love Dolly. She's her own person. She seems nice and funny and charming. She doesn't put on airs about who she is or what she does to herself (she even calls herself a dog-and-pony show). I like 9 to 5 and Steel Magnolias an awful lot. I've already informed Snowman numerous times that if we ever go to Tennessee, we will be stopping at Dollywood hell or highwater. I wanted her to win the Oscar. I used to watch her variety show. There was a skit where she was a waitress at a truck stop. A teenager was there, looking to catch a ride with a driver somewhere. She finds a ride and as the driver's about to leave, Dolly says to him, "Drive carefully. You're carrying the most important cargo: young dreams." Wow.

And just when I thought I couldn't like her anymore she says the following: One of my dreams is to have my own line of frozen foods.

Anyone who dreams of owning a line of frozen food is aces in my book.

PS-March is National Frozen Food Month. For real. I used to work in a grocery store, so I know this to be true, but if you don't believe me, go here.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love Dolly, too. Have you ever seen "Rhinestone" with her and Silvester Stallone? Good campy stuff.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, DP rocks. And she's one of the only women in Hollywood that's honest about her plastic surgery... although when it comes to those boobs she doesn't really have a choice ;) I just love that she's always so perky and upbeat. Rock on, DP. That Oscar should be yours.

EM said...

I love the title of this entry because I was having the same crisis as this 'sammy' ...

VE said...

I've been to Dollywood. It rules.

MXF said...

Ed, don't tell me you have one of those wind up asses! I've been wanting one of those! I saw the sweetest model at Ass Expo '06 at the Javitz Center.

Shit, Bart, I'm totally jealous!