Golden Globes

I was going to write a recap of The Golden Globes until I realized recapping awards shows is tremendously boring, thus I can only assume, it's even more tremendously boring to read about. But I can't resist the opportunity to go Fashion Police on everyone, so here it is [yes, it may be sexist, but I could give a toss what the men are wearing, thus, they will not be discussed].

First of all, I like to be fair. Pamela Anderson, bless her heart, is never going to best, say, Reese Witherspoon in the clothes depot, so I grade celebs based on their own history. Therefore, Pam, Mariah and even Nicolette (God, why is she so unattrative?) are not among my worst-dressed, because, for them, they actually look pretty good.

Who is on the WORST-DRESSED? First and foremost, Mary-Kate Olsen, whose fashion sense is hit or miss anyway. But this long Michael Kors dress coupled with the long pigtails have the effect of making her positively hobbit-esque. A half-starved, heroin-addled hobbit. She's followed closely by not one, but two Hiltons. Kathy is wearing what I am pretty sure is the ugliest coat ever. And Nicky is channeling Kelly Taylor from the "I almost got raped on Halloween" episode of Bev-9er. She's also channeling Donatella Versace with her scaly red sunburnt skin. Come on, ladies! You know you're in trouble when Paris is the best dressed Hilton woman!

Who else did I really hate? Heidi Klum. Her fashion sense is also all over the place, but this Costume National dress makes her look like her boobs are hovering around her navel, and supermodel or not, that ain't a good look!

I don't even know who the hell Dayna Devon is, but she looks like a Barbie Doll reject.

BEST-DRESSED? If I had to pick my absolute favorite, I suppose I'd go with Keira Knightley, who looks lovely most of the time, but particularly so in a strapless Valentino.

Also on the list is Maria Menounos, whom I'm used to seeing in much, much less. Yoon-jin Kim (Korean sisterhood, you know) looked sweet. Other well-dressed lassies include Mena Suvari (remember when she used to dress like this?), Rose McGowan, who looked so awesome in such a hard color to wear, and Kerry Washington. Melissa George gets points for spunk. I love the lace shirt and shorts look.


I'm also creating a new category for Plus-Ones (i.e. dates). Best dressed is Eric Bana's wife, Rebecca Gleeson. This is brocade done right (take a note, Kathy Hilton). Worst dressed is Jonathan Rhys-Meyers' gal pal, Reena Hammer. She looks like a lime. A naked, trashy lime. A naked, trashy lime who is sooo behind the times becuase, duh, Elizabeth Hurley corned the market on side-split evening wear long ago.