Monday, January 30, 2006

Clue #14 I'm Getting Old


Snowman bought me a pair of Heelys for Christmas. I'm actually surprised he bought them for be since he is hyper-protective of me doing anything with wheels—cycling, roller blading, tire swings. He said he didn't think they seemed that dangerous.

Boy was he wrong. These things are tricky! They're actually harder to master than roller skating because you have to have a much keener sense of balance. The first time I tried them on, I was kind of terrified. I calmed myself with thoughts of Well, if a ten-year-old can do it, then so can I. I was practicing in the kitchen for awhile, but I actually took them out yesterday and Heely-ed my way to the movie theater.

This was difficult for the following reasons:

1) Pavement in Queens is wildly uneven.
2) Pavement in Queens is covered in dog shit.

Heely-ing is a much easier affair inside, as I discovered at the movie theater, at the diner, at the Walgreens.

My legs are so sore today and I have to wonder if I don't look like an idiot trying to roll around the neighborhood. The truth is, there are a lot of things a ten-year-old can do that I can't. Like eat an entire pizza for dinner and neither gain weight nor feel sick afterwards. And wear sweatpants that have "HOTTIE" emblazoned on their asses.

My Heely career may be over before it's even started, but if you do see me gliding around the 'hood, do me a favor and don't laugh.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good luck with those heelys- they look fun and I'm sure you don't look as silly as you think you do.

As for wearing "hottie" on your ass- I morally object to 10 year olds who have these sweatpants. It's just wrong. Actually, I think it's wrong for pretty much anyone, at any age... excluding total sluts and prostitutes.

Is this my clue #12 that I'm getting old: that I'm becoming a prude? ;)