I've lived in New York for over seven years, but this recent episode has to be one of my favorite stories. A few weeks ago I went to City Center's Fall for Dance Festival for the first time. As those who have been can attest, seating is cramped. It's nearly 8:00 and there is no one sitting next to me, so I'm feeling hopeful. Of course, this was not to be. I end up sitting next to quite possibly the meanest woman in the city! The first piece is Molissa Fenley & Dancers performing Hemispheres, to which there is no music for the first ten minutes or so. You can hear every cough and twitch and of course, everyone starts turning off their cells (why they couldn't do that before the show started, I have no idea). There is a lady behind us (also not very nice) (apparently) who doesn't seem to know how to turn off her phone. She is pressing a lot of buttons. That is when this exchange takes place:
Lady Beside Me: Turn off your cell phone!
Lady Behind Me: That's what I'm tryin' to do. You wanna turn it off for me?!?!
Beside: Eat your buttons!
Behind: Why don't you eat my buttons?
Beside: Drop dead!
To which there is no comeback. But seriously, "Eat your button!"? What kind of comeback is that? The best part is that the lady beside me hated Hemispheres.
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