Why do friends and family--who supposedly have nothing but my best interests at heart--insist on the propogation of fear through email? And why do they think that I am so irrational and easily swayed that such an email would actually alter my life in any way?

I'm just a girl trying to figure out her life. I'm trying to find a purpose. I'm trying to eat well and exercise and read books and have new experiences. I'm trying to have good relationships with people and with myself. I'm trying to be kind to other people, even when they are unkind to me. I'm trying to expand my horizons. I'm tyring to find some peace.

I do not want to worry about contracting Leptospirosis from ingesting dried up rat urine from a soda can. I do not want to worry about stepping on a crack and breaking my mother's back. I do not want to worry about catching a cold if I go outside with wet hair. I do not want to worry about going blind if I read in the twilight. And as much as I do not want to die, I do not want to worry about dying.

So please, stop sending me your paranoid bullshit emails.

I said to God the other night, halfway between waking and dreaming, "If you believe in me, I'll believe in you." But the next day I read a piece (in Playboy--the articles really are good) on the Big Bang Theory and the end of the universe and now I'm convinced I was talking to myself.

Factorials are hot!

I saw two people falling in love over mathematics at the coffee shop yesterday. If you can love someone through logarithms, you can love them through anything.

Muppet Personality Quiz

I love internet quizzes. Try this one to figure out which muppet you're most like.

I am most like kermit:

Kermit is the down-to-earth, regular everyman (or in this case everyfrog). You're energetic, enthusiastic and everyone likes you! Sometimes, you get frustrated with your friends and with life's little irritations, but most of the time you are happy and ready to take on the world.

I scored a 77 mood and a 65 energy.

I must now look for a quiz on which cheese I most resemble...

Never much cared for Alicia Keyes (I like her music fine, but she, herself, seems to be trying a little too hard) but then she said this about what she likes to order from room service: "Cream of Wheat with brown sugar and some butter. It's like oatmeal without the lumps." I love Cream of Wheat with sugar and butter! And I hate oatmeal! Suddenly, I'm a little bit in love with her...

LOL

I hate LOL. I really hate it. No one ever says "laugh out loud" in actual conversation, so why I am cursed with LOLs all day in AIM and email? In fact, it's a stupid phrase because one might argue that laughter must be aloud to be considered laughter at all. Laughter on the inside is, well, nothing.

My 5th grade reading class was playing a spelling game yesterday. They were put onto three separate teams and each team thought "retart" was a word, as in "Don't do it like that, you retart."

I used the phrase "cheesy ass crap job" in a recent email. Now that I think about it, this is a great name for something. For what, I don't know. I'm open to any suggestions.

The lack of deliberate action doesn't rule out blame attributable to negligence, imprudence or even simple incompentence.--Silvio Berlusconi

Celeb break-ups

Angry Dolphin and I are still waiting for one of our chosen Hollywood couples to bite the dust. In the meantime I've swapped out Sarah Michelle Gellar & Freddie Prinze Jr. for Renee Zellwegger and Kenny Chesney (I know! I'm just as shocked as you are).

I got an email from Yul Brynner's son at work. Does anyone else think that's cool? I totally crushed on Yul in The King and I. It's not every man can wear silk PJs and still look good.

I'm sad like Eeyore today.

I could tell you about myself, but it would be a waste of time. I'm just going to lie.--Sweet Charity

The Last Samurai

I really resisted watching The Last Samurai. They kept showing the clip of Tom Cruise in his warrior armor and I thought, "Puh-leeze. I can't picture Tom Cruise in any movie that takes place before 1975." But I saw it last night and it was really quite good. It was very beautiful and tragic. I told Snowman I didn't want to watch the last half hour because I saw the end coming even before it came and I couldn't stand to watch it. But I did watch it and I cried and would have cried even more if I was by myself. It's been a long time since I cried watching a movie (and I've seen both Finding Neverland and Million Dollar Baby). Guess I'm not dead inside after all.