My Favorite Place in the World...

I tutor fifth and sixth graders in writing. Their assignment last week was the write about their favorite place in the world. It could be anywhere--a country or city, their bedroom, the park. One kid wrote that his favorite place was Vagina. I know this sounds like a bad joke, but I'm 100% serious. As best as I can figure he actually meant Virginia. At least, I hope that's what he meant or else "amusement park" must be a metaphor for something...

Snowman says he likes my old blog layout better. This is crushing indeed...

Better than I thought

I had my annual work review yesterday and it was damn near glowing. I was kind of surprised. I mean, I think I do a good job, but I'm by no means a stellar employee--in my own opinion at least. Snowman said, "Are you surprised he didn't say anything about your bad attitude?" I am surpised! My bad attitude comes from frustrations about certain things, but an attitude is an attitude, justified or not.

This all just reinforces my opinion that you cannot, no matter how in tune you are with the rest of the world, have an objective opinion about yourself. The truth is, others probably view you less harshly than you view yourself. I think this is good news.

Here's hoping for a good raise!

Ohmigod, I love these!

Strawberry Shortcake Rolls are so effin' good! I mean I grew up on Little Debbies, but my mom only bought the brown ones (it sounds weird, but it's true) like Star Crunch, Raisin Creme Pies, Fudge Rounds and Oatmeal Creme Pies. Sure we had the occasional Chocolate Chip Snack Cakes or Fudge Brownies (again, they're brown), but she really stuck with the 99-cent packs. I don't know, what $1.29 really too much to spend? Mom, you don't know how I coveted those Zebra Cakes! Anyway, now that I'm old enough to be in charge of my own diet, I can buy all the Strawberry Shortcake Rolls I want! And Zebra Cakes and Nutty Bars (there is actually an alarming amount of brown Little Debbies--what's with them?) and Swiss Cake Rolls and anything else I can peel apart while I eat. If I were Queen of the World, I would banish silverware; fingers are too much fun!

Charlie Brown got engaged!

But there's a bit of mystery surrounding the whole thing. Either he and his newly minted fiancee have only been dating for about five months or else they started dating while he was her boss. I heard a rumor that he was dating this girl and tried to confirm it with a colleague. She politely declined to comment, which actually did confirm it. Then Charlie Brown mentioned his "girlfriend" one day so I asked what her name was. He politely declined to tell me, which, again, only confirmed what I already suspected. Now comes the news of the engagement and I have to wonder if they were in fact dating while they worked together. Working for the same company is one thing, but dating your direct reports is highly inappropriate in my book, namely because it has the effect--intentional or not--of giving that direct report preferential treatment over her co-workers. There is just no way, no matter how impartial you think you might be, you can treat someone you are intimate with the same as you treat everyone else. But this is all speculation and I'm not really sure how to unravel it all. It's kind of like when a woman says she's expecting on such&such a date and when you do the backwards math you realize she was pregnant before the marriage...

I started out writing the story of American Puritans--people haunted by the fear that someone somewhere might be happy.--James Morone

...complaining about decline is a true national anthem.--James Morone