I just found out someone I went to college with died in a car accident in the spring. It's not awful, I mean, we weren't close, but it's not not awful either, because I really liked him when I knew him. We had a couple of classes together and we'd sort of flirt with each other from across the table. He was in a band and I saw them play a few times. In one class, at the end of the semester, our professor had us anonymously write something nice about everyone in class. Even though it was anonymous, I could tell which comment was his and it meant the most to me because I liked him the most. As I'm packing up to move last week, I'm going through this box of old stuff and I find that slip of paper with all those comments on it and his comment still meant the most to me. As I'm reading it, he's already dead, but I didn't know it until yesterday. It's not awful, but it is sad. He was a good person.

I have this CD from his band and the songs are on my iPod.

NYPL

I love the library. You just can't get bored there. And they let you read things...for free! I think it is truly one of the most awesome public services in the country. And who do we have to thank for it? Why, the inventor of the bifocal: Benji Franklin!

When I was younger I went to the library all the time with my dad. There was a big branch downtown and he would let us go off on our own. I would always go to the comics and read all the Garfields (a cat who loved lasagna? crazy!) and Peanuts. And I would check out all these books and never read them, but who cares? It was the possibility of reading that was so enticing. One time we went to a smaller local branch and I thought my dad left me there (I think that must have hurt his feelings for me to assume I meant so little to him that he would "forget" me anywhere). I called my mom and she came to get me. But before she got there, of course, my dad appeared. Now keep in mind, this was in the days before cell phones, so there was no telling my mom to head back home (and even if it weren't, my parents don't even have an answering machine so there's no hope for them getting cells). So suddenly I had TWO rides home...I felt stupid.

But I still loooove the library. And with LEO online you can reserve and renew books online! Genius! I look forward, with great anticipation, to the day when we no longer have to speak to each other.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I wish it were better. I won't mention anything to spoil it for those who haven't read it yet. I thought it kind of dragged. There were some interesting bits that happened and I can kind of see where it's all going to end up. Really, I just thought Harry was a moody brat who--and I have to agree with Snape--thinks he's better than everyone else. Who knows? Maybe he is. Worst of all, I thought Rowling's poor writing skills really showed through on this one. She tells a good story; she just doesn't tell it very well.

Favorite quote: from this book? Yeah right.

Further Evidence I'm Becoming My Mother

I took out a purse I hadn't used in a few months and found half a pack of gum in it (not quite as good as finding a stray $20). When I was little, I used to go into my mom's closet, rifle through all her purses, and unload all the piece of Dentyne she's forgotten about, which I would then eat in quick succession.

If I ever start freezing loaves of bread, please, someone put me out of my misery.

I feel fat today.

Christopher Plummer

Prior to ten minutes ago, I had absolutely no feelings for or against Christopher Plummer. But he is so witty and charming in this EW interview, I think he might be my favorite actor in the whole world. Well, next to Jake Gyllenhaal, of course.

I hate...

...the word gelee. It can't possibly signify a food I would ever want to eat. In the December issue of Martha Stewart's Living, there is a picture of "pate with pomegranate gelee" and although it is a very lovely photo, I think I would rather eat a tree branch.

Pandas are so cute they actually make my teeth hurt. Seriously, I can't stand it! I mean, I know I said it about the baby penguins, but there ain't no human baby this cute!

macamonies

Whenever I make Kraft mac n cheese with the powder cheese, it always ends up a little runny. I could never figure out the right milk and butter ratio. Plus I usually use skim milk because that's what I have in the fridge so that doesn't help the runny factor either. Yesterday though, I happened to have some heavy cream in the fridge. Well, problem solved! No more runny cheese!

Of course, then things got weird when I added jalapeno jelly and crushed potato chips on top. But it was soooo good.

Why do I know this?

There are two pictures of Summer Redstone and Tom Freston in this week's EW. There aren't any captions with the pictures, but I saw them and saw the word "Viacom" and both their names popped into my head. I mean, I'm kind of appalled I not only know who Tom Freston is, but that I also know what he looks like. What kind of crazy, useless shit is stored inside my head and is that why there isn't room for me to remember where my keys are?

411 this ain't

I got a comment to one of my posts that strikes me as totally absurd. This is what it said:

"doer" said...
Hello, just visited your blog, it's informative. I also have a Ebay related web site. Please visit and hope that it's useful.

Keep in mind this is in response to a post about how I dreamt I was in love with Lance Armstrong and he was in love with my mother (that still kind of creeps me out). I mean, I'm not trying to sell myself short, but if there's one thing my website is NOT, it's informative.

Eat Buttons and Die!

I've lived in New York for over seven years, but this recent episode has to be one of my favorite stories. A few weeks ago I went to City Center's Fall for Dance Festival for the first time. As those who have been can attest, seating is cramped. It's nearly 8:00 and there is no one sitting next to me, so I'm feeling hopeful. Of course, this was not to be. I end up sitting next to quite possibly the meanest woman in the city! The first piece is Molissa Fenley & Dancers performing Hemispheres, to which there is no music for the first ten minutes or so. You can hear every cough and twitch and of course, everyone starts turning off their cells (why they couldn't do that before the show started, I have no idea). There is a lady behind us (also not very nice) (apparently) who doesn't seem to know how to turn off her phone. She is pressing a lot of buttons. That is when this exchange takes place:

Lady Beside Me: Turn off your cell phone!
Lady Behind Me: That's what I'm tryin' to do. You wanna turn it off for me?!?!
Beside: Eat your buttons!
Behind: Why don't you eat my buttons?
Beside: Drop dead!

To which there is no comeback. But seriously, "Eat your button!"? What kind of comeback is that? The best part is that the lady beside me hated Hemispheres.

All Quiet on the Western Front

Erich Maria Remarque's All Quiet on the Western Front may very well be the greatest war novel of all time, as the dust jacket proudly proclaimed. It was remarkably moving, well-written, funny...all those things a great book should be. Written from the perspective of a German--the "enemy"--you realize life is life, regardless of sides. The books that have made me cry can be counted on one hand and this one made me weep quite bitterly at the end.

Favorite quote: In himself man is essentially a beast, only he butters it over like a slice of bread with a little decorum.

Where do these people come from?

I dreamt I was in love with Lance Armstrong but...he was in love with my mother! She cared not a fig for him.

Grrrrrr...

I'm not in a good mood today. It's way too busy at work; I think I'm getting an ulcer. I'm going on vacation for a wedding but all I really want to do is sit on the couch at stare at the walls for four days [no offense to my very dear friend getting married]. And then I get this work email that is just bullshit. We're all about sending out bullshit emails that don't mean anything or have anything to do with work, really, (like "there are cookies on the table" or "come see my band play") and it was the breaking point for me. What I really want to do is punch my fist through the computer screen and use the keyboard as a sledgehammer. But that would be viewed by my co-workers as "crazy" behavior. So all I can really do is delete the stupid email. But, man, did I click "delete" with all my mighty fury!

Wild(e) On!

I didn't quite finish Oscar Wilde's Complete Short Stories, but since they are just short stories, I didn't have to finish the whole thing, right? I like him; I like his writing. He is one of those historical figures I would have liked to have known personally. And I know he had a hard life, what with prison and all, but his fairy tales are quite disturbing. You think it will end pleasantly, but the then the last sentence will literally be "He died poor and alone. Everyone hated him."

Listen up children: life is hard, unfair, cruel. Worst of all is love. Whatever you do, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE! You will die alone. The end.

Favorite quote: The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else... ("The Remarkable Rocket")

Help!

Seriously, I'm so addicted to eBay. I need to join a twelve step program...

Martha, Martha, Martha

So her new show kind of sucks. I loved the old show. It was really informative and had lots of cooking, crafting, gardening. There was an occasional guest, but in a very controlled environment. And there was no fucking audience! Now that she wants to be not only popular, but liked as well, her show has gone down the crapper. Now she's more interested in entertaining us than in educationg us. If I want to be entertained I watch cartoons. If I want to be educated I watch Martha. Only not anymore. I'm quite heartbroken. At least I still have her magazine to comfort me...sniff sniff.

In my life why do I smile at people I'd much rather kick in the eye?--"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"/The Smiths

Of all the people...

...for me to have a dream about...Bill Nighy? And he wasn't Bill Nighy, he was someone else. And I shook his hand and was very pleased to meet him. Didn't even remember the dream until I saw a picture of him in a magazine just now.