Michellephant

Potato Salad with Cornichons and Capers

2007-03-04T10:08:00.000-08:00

Wow, I haven't posted in awhile. My life has become a whirlwind of school, job search, and wedding. But here's a little somethin' somethin'.

This potato salad rocked. It's made with a vinaigrette instead of mayo, so it's great for outdoor events (my event happened in front of the TV, but whatev). The local grocery store didn't have cornichons so I used gherkins (the two are not synonymous, you know). I've also never been a big fan of capers, but the key is really just to rinse those suckers off before you use them so they're not overly salty. I heart Martha Stewart.

2 pounds small red and Yukon gold potatoes, halved or quartered (I used red)
2 tablespoons + 1 1/2tsp salt
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon dijon style mustard
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
5 cornichons rinses, sliced (1/4 cup) (again, I used gherkins)
1 small red onion thin slice (1/4 cup)
2 tablespoons capers rinsed, coarse chop (how the hell do you chop capers?)
2 tablespoons coarse chop flat-leaf parsley
1/4 teaspoon pepper

Cover potatoes with water in a medium saucepan. Add 2 tablespoons salt. Bring to a boil; reduce heat, and simmer until tender, 7 to 9 minutes. Drain potatoes, reserving 1 tablespoon cooking water. Let potatoes cool slightly.

Make the vinaigrette:
Whisk together vinegar, mustard, and reserved cooking water in a small bowl. Gradually add oil, whisking until emulsified. Transfer potatoes to a medium bowl, and drizzle with vinaigrette. Add onion, cornichons, capers, parsley, remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, and the pepper. Using a large spatula, gently stir to combine.

Grade: A

Cranberry Pecan Orange Bread Pudding

2007-02-14T23:27:00.000-08:00

I'd never made bread pudding before, so Christmas seemed like the perfect time to try my hand. Bread pudding is one of those things that is either great or horrible and you never know which until it's too late. This wasn't my favorite thing ever. The bread sort of fused into one giant bread mass instead of staying light and fluffy. Oh, and I'm pretty sure pecans have no business in bread pudding. The recipe is from Martha Stewart Living.

2 tablespoons unsalted butter soft, plus more for baking dish
12 ounces brioche or challah bread cut into 1-in cubes
2 cups milk
3 cups heavy cream
4 lg. eggs + 1 lg. egg yolk
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 cup raisins

3/4 cup dried cranberries

3/4 cup orange juice

2 tablespoon orange zest

3/4 cup toasted pecans
1 cup boiling water, plus more for pan

Butter a 9-by-13-inch baking dish; set aside. Put bread in a large bowl; set aside. Heat milk and cream in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat until just about to simmer; remove from heat.

Whisk eggs, yolk, sugar, salt, vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a medium bowl. Whisking constantly, pour cream mixture in a slow, steady stream into egg mixture. Pour over bread; fold to combine. Let stand 3O minutes, tossing and pressing occasionally to submerge bread.

Preheat oven to 350°.

Meanwhile, soak raisins in 1 cup boiling water for 30 minutes. Simmer 3/4 cup dried cranberries in 3/4 cup orange juice until plump, 3 to 5 minutes.

Drain; stir raisins and cranberries into bread mixture. Add zest and pecans. With a slotted spoon, transfer bread to buttered dish; pour liquid in bowl over top. Using spoon, turn top layer of bread crust side up.

Set dish in a roasting pan; transfer to oven. Pour boiling water into pan to reach about halfway up sides of dish. Bake until golden brown, about 50 minutes. Let dish cool on a rack 10 to 20 minutes.

Grade: B-

Claim Jumper

2007-02-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

12384 Carmel Mountain Road
San Diego, CA 92128
858.485.8370

Snowman's birthday dinner took a few turns. The first restaurant he pooh-poohed. The second one was out of veggie burgers, so I pooh-poohed. The third one had too much of everything so that's where we ate! We went with our friends, The Neighobrinos. I made a video. Check it!

Food: Decent. Oversize portions rarely mean excellence. The brownie at the end was pretty decadent.
Service: Really friendly. It was actually our waiter's birthday as well! Snowman didn't believe him so he called his mom and she confirmed it.
Decor: Pretty Nice. Lodge-esque. Warm and cozy!

Grade: B

New Twists On Old Favorites...Spicy!

2007-01-28T23:14:00.000-08:00

I love trying new food. Some of it's gross, but some of it is awesome. I think it's worth all the gross stuff to get to the awesome stuff. Here are two new things I've tried recently:

I love Tabasco Sauce. It's great on anything bland, but I particularly like it on mac n' cheese and pizza. I've tried some Tabasco-flavored products, like Fritos, but those tend to be "hot" without any actual flavor. But when a Whole Foods cashier suggested Chipotle Tabasco, I was game.

It's soooo good. It's better than the original, and you know that's not something I say very often! It's not as hot as original, but the smokiness from the chipotles substitutes the hot with flavor. My mac n' cheese is super happy!

As some of you know, um, I love Funyuns. I don't buy them very often because they really have no nutritional value whatsoever (awesomeness value is off the charts, though). The last few times I've been to the grocery store, Wasabi Funyuns have been staring me in the face, whispering, whispering, "Buy me, Michellephant. You're Asian. It's your duty."

I'm not a huge fan of wasabi (I generally dislike horseradish in all forms), but I finally listened. These are a truly bizarre snack. They're decent; they're hot; they clear out your sinuses. They're NOT as good as the original.

Both are worth trying.

Chipotle Tabasco: A+
Wasabi Funyuns: B

Bud's Louisiana Food Shoppe

2007-01-24T17:43:00.000-08:00

2034 Kettner Blvd. #12
San Diego, CA 92101
619.239.4210

Snowman and I decided to visit with two former Louisianians from What We're Eating. They know Creole, right? We were all skeptical. With good reason. While nothing downright sucked, there wasn't much to sing about either. I mean, it takes a really skilled chef to make fried catfish...bland. I don't think any of us will be heading back anytime soon. Besides, I think there's better etouffe in WWE's kitchen anyway!

Food: Meh. My shrimp po' boy, WWE's etouffe, Snowman's jambalaya...all meh. The only high point was the bread pudding, which is apparently "famous." I'm glad I ordered it, because it was definitely the best thing anyone ordered the whole night.
Service: Unremarkable but adequate.
Decor: Vinyl tablecloths, ya dig?

Grade: B-

Chipotle-Seared Scallops with Butter Bean Salsa

2007-01-20T08:02:00.000-08:00

It was Snowman's birthday yesterday, and in honor of my coal-eyed friend, I'm posting a dish he cooked from many moons ago. It was during my blog hiatus, and Snowman pleaded, "Please, please, please, bring your blog back for one night! Post these damn scallops, you stubborn elephant!" I swore that if the blog came back, the scallops would go up, so here they are:

This meal was so long ago, it's actually hard to remember all of the specifics. I know the salsa was a riff on the salsa Chef whipped up during a cooking class, but the scallops were all Snowman's own invention. It was all really tasty. The scallops were cooked just right (so easy to over cook those things!) and the salsa was yummy. I have no memory of the rice, but I'm pretty sure it came out of bag.

Grade: B+

Jasmine

2007-01-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

4609 Convoy Street
San Diego, CA 92111
858.268.0888

Foiled again by that crappy period in between lunch and dinner! We just barely missed the much-talked about dim sum lunch, so we had to settle for the dinner menu. Turns out, it was actually really delicious. Unfortunately, because they assumed I would be sharing in Snowman's appetizers of short ribs and chicken lettuce wraps, I watched Snowman eat his lunch, and then he watched me eat mine. Watch out: the portions are huge!

Food: Excellent. My eggplant with garlic was delicious. Very spicy. I don't get how some people don't like eggplant!
Service: Capable.
Decor: Typical Chinese ballroom. A huge space, where they probably have a lot of weddings and new year's parties.

Grade: A-

Nine-Ten

2007-01-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

910 Prospect St.
La Jolla, CA 92037
858.964.5400

It's pretty hard to find non-fast food at about 3:30 in the afternoon, that horrible time in between lunch and dinner. Snowman and I actually wanted to eat here because we are considering staying in the adjoining Grande Colonial for our wedding and might have our after-wedding dinner at Nine-Ten. Unfortunately, they were only serving a bar menu, so our sampling of their cuisine was limited. But quite delightful nonetheless.

Food: My mushroom panini was decent, but the real story here were the truffled French fries with grated Parmesan. How to make a fry more decadent...this is the answer! They were so rich and delicious. Snowman liked his flank steak, and we both liked our hibiscus-scented iced teas.
Service: Friendly and attentive, though the bartender would disappear for ten minutes at a time. A fellow patron, itching for vodka, said to him upon his return, "I thought you went on vacation!"
Decor: Sleek and modern without feeling cold or antiseptic.

Grade: A

Pacifica Del Mar

2007-01-11T20:16:00.000-08:00

1555 Camino Del Mar
Del Mar, CA 92014
858.792.0476

Snowman and I spent a lovely afternoon in Del Mar looking at possible wedding sites and hotels. We finished off with lunch at Pacifica Del Mar. We both really enjoyed our meals. In fact, my only complaint is that we were sitting on the patio which was glassed-in. This probably protects diners from the winds and errant birds, but it traps in the sunlight, so we were kind of roasting ourselves.

Food: I had a most delicious squash bisque with creme fraiche and chunks of apple. I also had a green salad with bleu cheese, candied walnuts and cranberries. A little too much bleu cheese for me, but otherwise quite enjoyable. Snowman enjoyed his turkey burger and we both enjoyed his fries.
Service: Very friendly.
Decor: Casual and beach-like. We had wooden fish for napkin rings. I made them kiss a little.

Grade: B+

Carrot Ginger Soup with Roasted Coconut Shrimp

2007-01-07T17:21:00.000-08:00

I love soup. I love eating it and I love cooking it. Soups are usually very easy to make and the long simmer helps meld all the flavors together wonderfully. I think this may actually be the best thing I've cooked. Ever. Spicy, warm, healthy--everyone at dinner LOVED this. The only thing that didn't quite fly was the shrimp. I only had baby shrimps on hand, but you really need the big guys to get the roasting right. This recipe comes from Food & Wine.

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 medium onion, coarse chop
4 carrots, chopped
1 tablespoon finely grated ginger
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
3 cups chicken broth [I used vegetable broth]
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 tablespoon creamy peanut butter
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 cup milk
1/4 cup coconut milk
Salt and pepper
16 large shrimp shelled
1 1/2 tablespoons flaked coconut
Pinch cayenne pepper

Preheat the oven to 425°. In a large saucepan, heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil. Add the onion and cook over moderate heat until softened, about 4 minutes. Add the carrots, ginger and crushed red pepper and cook for 6 minutes. Add the broth and bring to a boil, then simmer until the carrots are very tender, about 15 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the soy sauce, lime juice, brown sugar, peanut butter and sesame oil.

In a blender, puree the soup until smooth. Return it to the saucepan and stir in the skim milk and coconut milk. Season the soup with salt and pepper and keep warm.

Toss the shrimp with the coconut, cayenne and remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil, and season with salt and pepper. Spread the shrimp on a parchment-lined baking sheet and roast for 8 minutes, or until pink. Ladle the carrot-ginger soup into warmed bowls and garnish with the coconut shrimp.

Grade: A

Pumpkin Chocolate Tart

2007-01-03T02:42:00.000-08:00

I'm bringing bloggin' back/Them other bloggers don't know how to act...

I missed you guys! But I'm back. Just not as much as before. And by "before" I mean over the summer when I was blogging every day, not "before" as in the last four months when I wasn't blogging at all.

So let's get to it! This here's a tart I made for my first San Diego Thanksgiving. It was a big hit with Snowman and the other guests, but I didn't love it. It was good, but lacking somehow. I actually attribute this to the fact that I didn't have any creme fraiche, so I jerry-rigged some with sour cream and buttermilk. I'm a big fan of the store-bought pie crust, but this one I actually made fresh. To me, the best part, by far, was the homemade spiced whipped cream. I added a pinch of nutmeg, cinnamon, and cloves to echo all the flavors in the tart. It's such an easy way to elevate your whipped topping! This recipe comes from Martha Stewart Living. Long may she live!

FOR THE TART SHELL:
1 cup flour
1/4 cup + 1tbsp sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 cup unsalted butter pieced
1 egg
4 ounces semisweet chocolate, finely chopped

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine flour, sugar, cocoa, salt, cinnamon, and cloves. Add butter; mix on low speed until butter is the size of small peas, about 5 minutes. Add egg; mix until ingredients come together to form a dough.

Preheat oven to 350". On a lightly floured work surface, roll out dough to just thicker than 1/8 inch. Brush off excess flour; transfer dough to a 10-inch tart pan with a removable bottom. Press dough into bottom and up sides of pan; trim excess flush with edge. Lightly prick bottom of dough all over with a fork. Chill until firm, about 30 minutes. [I am an absolute moron when it comes to rolling out pie crust, so I didn't really roll this one out. I just pressed it into the shell with my hands. This worked out fine, just be sure you really press it fully up the sides, or the filling will overflow and burn.]

Bake shell until firm, about 15 minutes. Immediately sprinkle chocolate over bottom of shell; smooth with a spatula.

FOR THE FILLING:
15 ounces pumpkin puree
3/4 cup firm pack light brown sugar
8 ounces creme fraiche [As mentioned, I made my own. I do not recommend this method!]
3 eggs
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
2 ounces semisweet chocolate

Preheat oven to 350". In a medium bowl, whisk together pumpkin puree, brown sugar, creme fraiche, egg, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, salt, and cloves until smooth. Pass mixture through a fine sieve set over a clean bowl; discard solids. Pour filling into prepared into prepared crust.

Bake until filling is set, about 40 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack, and let at least 30 minutes.

Set a heatproof bowl, or the top of a double boiler, over a pan of barely simmering water. Melt chocolate in bowl, stirring occasionally; remove from heat. Dip a spoon in melted chocolate, drizzle chocolate over tart, forming decorative stripes. Refrigerate until well at least 1 hour and up to 1 day. [If you do not have a plastic squeeze bottle (like you see at BBQs for sauce), you really should get one! It makes drizzling anything so easy and very artistic.]

Grade: B

#71 Bistec de Costilla de Res, Por Favor

2006-08-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

Now that we live in the suburbs we get pennysavers in our mailbox. In New York, they were basically thrown into the hallway, where one might have kicked them aside to open the door, but never, ever to actually read. We're pretty bored here at the moment, so the pennysaver is actually great cause for celebration.

We have a pretty healthy Hispanic population here, so it turns out our local food market prints Spanish subtitles for the food it advertises. So, in my own humble effort to bridge the cultural divide in America, here are some bilingual yum-yums for you to peruse (it's fun to say the translations out loud):

bistec de cordero: lamb shoulder steaks
cebollas amarillas: yellow onions
jicama: jicama
limones verdes en Bolsa: key limes
lechuga: lettuce
fresas: strawberries
mollejas de pollo: chicken gizzards
chuletas de puerco: sirloin end pork chops
bistec de costilla de res: rib eye steaks

Buen Provecho!: Enjoy Your Meal!

#70 Miguel's Cocina

2006-08-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

2912 Shelter Island Drive
San Diego, CA 92106
619-224-2401

Looking for some cheap Mexican, Snowman and I drove out to Point Loma to this place. We were immediately served a big bowl of tortilla chips with salsa, an addictive white queso dip, and really delish pickled veggies (carrots, onions, peppers). Unfortunately, that's where the good stuff ends. My vegetarian cheese enchilada was terrifically bland and Snowman wasn't overly impressed with his pollo asada either. So my recommendation is to sit at the bar, toss back a margarita, and lick up the queso dip.

Grade: C-

#69 Andiamo!

2006-08-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

5950 Santo Road
San Diego, CA 92124
858-277-3501

Ah, my first San Diego restaurant review! Snowman and I have been having hit-and-miss success with eating out in SD. This place was a definite hit. We sat on the patio where they had a jazz band playing. It made talking a little difficult, but the music was good and made the atmosphere low-key, but still special.

We started with an olive and cheese plate, which was fine. I hate a walnut and gorgonzola salad which was quite tasty. They added pineapple to it, which really gave it a nice sweetness. Snowman had an amazing mushroom ravioli, which may actually be the best ravioli I've ever had.

Grade: B+

#68 Who Was That 5'11" Masked Man?

2006-08-26T19:26:00.000-07:00

Snowman and I were eating dinner at Jack In the Box last night (all the while, secretly swearing to myself that I would stop eating so much fast food), when he noticed a peculiar thing. All the doors have tape along the sides of them that indicate 4 feet, 5 feet, 6 feet. Why? So when someone robs you, you can say, "He was 5'11"" instead of guessing. This is actually perfect for me, because I am really bad with estimating things like height, weight and age. If only the thiefs could be made to step on a scale as they exited too!

#67 Open Letter

2006-08-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Tinsel Teeth,

I am currently addicted to Starbucks' iced chai. I know you suffered a similar addiction yourself. Please help.

Sincerely,
Michellephant

#66 Rubio's Ruse

2006-08-24T23:30:00.000-07:00

The good news is Snowman and I have found an apartment. The better news is that hopefully, inside of a week, I'll be able to pick up with my regular posting. In the meantime, here's another short one:

We're renting an apartment in Mission Valley and there is a Rubio's Mexican Grill nearby. Snowman and I had never heard of Rubio's because, well, we're from New York. We were both super excited about the fish tacos at Rubio's, as fish tacos seem like the unofficial food of San Diego.

Today we're in line and after we ordered they asked Snowman's name [you know how they like to ask your name so they can say "Georgie, your order is ready"]. He says Dakota. This isn't his real name, but he throws it out once in awhile when he's feeling saucy. Then he pays with his credit card, which, um, has his real name on it.

This made me giggle really hard. And because it's the neighborhood Rubio's, for as long as we keep going back, he has to be known as Dakota.

He he he he.

PS-Blackened mahi mahi tacos...goooood.

#65 Short and Sweet

2006-08-23T23:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm officially in San Diego...but somewhat homeless and discombobulated. I'll post my road trip food journal once we've moved into an apartment (not that we have one yet...I mean I'm writing this in the Days Inn for God's sake!), but for now, chew on this:

We all know BMW stands for Bavarian Motor Works, but it's also a handy acronym for dinner time.

How many times have you sat at a circular table when this happens: the waiter starts pouring water and handing out bread. But you're not sure if you grab the bread and water to your right or left. Well there is etiquette about such things, and you certainly don't want to commit any faux pas while dining at Jean Georges, so next time remember this:

BMW stands for Bread, Meal, Water. This means you take the bread to your left and the water (or wine) to your right (while the meal is in front of you).

Now aren't you refined?

PS-It's also a handy acronym for remembering the order of the bridges in Manhattan. From the south, they go Brooklyn, Manhattan, Williamsburg.

#64 Out To Lunch

2006-08-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, kiddies, I'm heading out West. I have no idea what my internet access will be like over the next two weeks, so let's just consider this a vacation. I will still, of course, be thinking of food constantly! I plan on keeping a picture food journal on our travels, so you can expect a super long post when I hit San Diego. Stay tuned and eat well!

#63 Tuna Nicoise Sandwiches

2006-08-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

I've made these before and Snowman and I both love them. Fresh ingredients and no mayonnaise makes for a yummy twist on an old standby. Ciabatta bread is a must for this. The recipe comes from Martha Stewart Living.

1/2 white onion thin slice
1/2 red onion thin slice
1/4 cup + 4 tsp extra virign olive oil
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
14 ounces tuna
1 tablespoon lemon juice
4 ciabatta rolls, split horizontally
2 heads bibb lettuce (I like to use baby spinach)
1/2 cup nicoise olives pitted
4 hard boiled egg peel, thin slice

Because tuna is the star ingredient in this sandwich, it's worth buying oil-packed tuna in a jar, which has a higher quality and finer flavor than the canned variety.

Put onions, 1/4 cup oil, vinegar, and 1/4 teaspoon salt in a medium bowl; season with pepper. Toss to combine. Let stand 10 minutes.

Add tuna and its oil to onion mixture. Add lemon juice and 1/4 teaspoon salt; season with pepper. Gently toss to combine.

Cover bottom halves of rolls with lettuce. Top with olives, eggs, and tuna mixture, dividing evenly. Drizzle each with 1 tsp oil. Cover with top halves of rolls.

Grade: A-

#62 Sundae on Sunday

2006-08-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

My cousin and I have a ritual that involves getting sundaes from Friendly's. Basically the ritual goes like this: we go to Friendly's and get sundaes.

I went on and on about how I couldn't wait to have a Snicker's sundae and you know what? They don't effin make them anymore! That's right! They DON'T make them! So I had a caramel cone sundae, which was actually really good, but I still kept thinking back fondly on the Snicker's sundae of yesteryear.

Well it turns out that Friendly's is having a Build Your Own Sundae Contest and I entered and tried to make the sundae as close to the Snicker's sundae I loved so much as I could. You have to choose from a preset selection of ingredients. Here's what I picked:

butter crunch ice cream
nuts over caramel ice cream
chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream
marshmallow cream
caramel sauce
walnuts
dark chocolate chunks

How does that sound? I named it "Are You Nuts? Crunchy Caramel Sundae" after my cousin's daughter, who likes to ask everyone if they're nuts.

#61 8 Degrees of Drunkeness

2006-08-12T19:19:00.000-07:00

From Schott's Food & Drink Miscellany and credited to Thomas Nash in 1592:

The Ape-drunk, who leaps and sings and hollers
The Lion-drunk, who is quarrelsome and rude
The Swine-drunk, who is sleepy and lumpish
The Sheep-drunk, wise in his own conceit, but unable to speak
The Maudlin-drunk, who declares he loves all mankind
The Martin-drunk, who drinks himself sober again
The Goat-drunk, who is lascivious
The Fox-drunk, who is crafty, like the Dutch who bargain when drunk

So, which one are you?

#60 I ______ Milk

2006-08-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

1 Gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk
+ 1 Mammoth e-commerce site
+ 619 product reviews
____________________________
= HI JINKS!

Check out what everyone has to saw about the world's most ubiquitous dairy product on the world's most ubiquitous e-commerce website here.

#59 A Smooth, Smooth Summer

2006-08-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I fell in love with smoothies this summer. It started with the berry heaven at Cup Diner, continued with the berry fulfilling at Jamba Juice, and ended with me finally using my Waring blender regularly. Here's a quick list of my favorite summer smoothies:

the aforementioned berry heaven from Cup Diner

the aforementioned berry fulfilling from Jamba Juice

homemade acai smoothie with banana, strawberry, and apple juice

The Big Book of Juices and Smoothies

coconutty 'nana: banana, pineapple, coconut milk, pineapple juice

tropical deluxe: mango, banana, lime juice, guava juice

papaya salad: papaya, pineapple, banana, pineapple juice, watermelon (I use raspberries instead)

summer sunset: peaches, strawberries, guava juice

And here are a few things I learned about making smoothies:

rehydrating dried fruit means soaking overnight, not for fifteen minutes

if you need to redistribute fruit in a blender, wait until the motor has stopped running before sticking a fork in it

frozen fruits makes for cold and thick smoothies, so I pretty much like to freeze it all, even the fresh stuff

adding Greens+ powder makes your smoothie taste like seaweed

most importantly, smoothies are so delicious, a great way to load up on fruit, and a good substitute for pretty much any meal

The blender is coming in the car in the drive out west. There's no telling when I'll crave a papaya salad!

#58 I Am Pretty Wisdomous

2006-08-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

Since I'm leaving my job (three days, people!) and will be without health insurance for _______, decided to get my wisdom teeth taken out. They weren't really bothering me, but they were basically just little traps collecting food that was difficult to remove. I also wanted to weigh less.

My oral surgeon is amazing. He's friendly, knowledgeable, has a good sense of humor, and is very comforting. I had very minimal pain with each of the three extractions. If anyone needs to get any oral surgery, I know a guy in Park Slope...

When your teeth are getting drilled, it smells like tortilla chips.

Anyway, as those of you who have been reading my blog know, I love x-rays. Here is one of my mouth (those two outer teeth (#1 & 17, I believe) on the bottom are gone now):

#57 New Food: Litchi

2006-08-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

Some people spell it lychee. I have no idea which is more correct, but litchi is more aesthetically pleasing to me, so that's what I go with.

This may not be a new food for some of you. There is, after all, litchi juice and litchi sorbet. But perhaps you've never bought fresh litchi? They can be a little intimidating, but they're sweet and unusual. It's also rather inexpensive to buy a handful, so it's worth experimenting if you've never had them. Very prevalent in Chinatown, but also available at ye olde Whole Foods.

Spiky!

Soft, sweet, translucent flesh.

Shiny, smooth nut inside!

#56 Lady M Confections

2006-08-07T06:33:00.000-07:00

41 East 78th Street
NY, NY 10021
212-452-2222

Listy-Loo and I both saw this place featured on the Food Network show Sugar Rush and knew we had to go. So after a rather dreamy trip to Blue scoping out wedding dresses, we, along with Tinsel Teeth, made the trek uptown. It's a very small space with no decor other than a giant vase of white hydrangea on the counter. I had a delicious cup of hot English breakfast tea, sweetened with rock candy sugar. I also had a smoked salmon sandwich, which was fine, but tasted a little too "corner deli" to be worth $8.50. All three of us had various cakes. I had their famous mille crepes, which was light and creamy and the carmelized sugary crepes were delicious. Listy-Loo had the miroir caramel, which tasted deliciously caramel-y, but was of the oddest consistency. The bottom was chocolate cake, the middle was some sort of mousse texture, and the top was a slightly gelatinous caramel. Tinsel Teeth has the chocolat arc-en-ciel (rainbow?), which I thought was quite good. Intensely chocolate and very decadent.

Overall, a lovely way to spend an afternoon with my girls. I even bought a few chocolates for Snowman.

Grade: B+

#55 Popover Cafe

2006-08-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

551 Amsterdam
NY, NY 10024
212-595-8555

I've been hearing about this place for years, so finally the opportunity presented itself to actually eat there. The service is super friendly and the decor is cute (sit in a window booth and you get to play with some teddy bears!). Three of us had various kinds of veggie sandwiches with melted cheese, served on--what else?--a popover. Snowman had a chicken salad, which came with a popover on the side. Super airy, buttery, flaky pastry filled with air inside, these popovers arrive in gigantic proportion (though again, the inside is all air, so don't get overwhelmed). My sandwich was filled with delicious vegetables, though it could have used some salt and/or pepper. My Arnold Palmer (that's half iced tea/half lemonade, for those of you that have never had one) was particularly tasty. Overall, a very fine place for a casual meal.

Grade: B

#54 Dimple

2006-08-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

11 West 30th Street
NY, NY 10001
212-643-9464

You may remember some weeks ago Smalls and I were on the hunt for dosa and ended up eating pho. Well this time we went for dosa and we actually ate dosa! And it was a family affair with Mrs. Smalls and Smalls Jr., who was too cute wearing a little froggy bracelet.

There is no decor at Dimple (is it just me, or is that an odd name for an Indian vegetarian restaurant?) and the air conditioning only seemed to have a moderate effect on the temperature. We ordered a mixed appetizer plate, which was literally described as "mixed appetizer," so although it was good, I couldn't tell you what was in anything. The dosa were really delicious. Crispy, air, salty chick pea crepes filled with curried potatoes and onions. Cheap and filling. The dosa would be just as delicious with no filling at all.

But beware: all dosa are not alike. If it looks limp, old, or too crepe-like (our dosa was filled with waffled-patterned holes), you should pass. Luckily, at Dimples, that was not the case.

Grade: B

#53 Island Burgers & Shakes

2006-08-03T20:18:00.000-07:00

766 9th Avenue
NY, NY 10019
212-307-7934

I've worked in the same part of town for the last seven years and Island Burgers has always been on my "to eat" list. Now that my time in New York is drawing to a close, I decided I'd better hot foot it over there. I went with my friend, Socram. It's a teeny-tiny little joint, but we had no problem getting a seat. Service was efficient and terrifically friendly. I had the Marco's burger [pesto, ranch, bacon, parmesan on ciabatta] and a side of dirty sour cream and onion chips. Why chips? Because they don't serve French fries. THAT'S RIGHT: no fries! But trust me, you won't miss them. The chips are good, but the burgers are the star. Mine was cooked medium and delicious [Socram got his well-done and I thought, that doesn't even taste like beef...it just tastes...like a grill]. I only wish I had more time to go back and try the other twenty varieties they offer!

Grade: A

#52 Frozen Bananas

2006-08-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

First things first: this is not what my frozen bananas looked like that I made for Bananarama. The ones I made did not look very good. The chocolate was ultra-gloopy and the Reese's Pieces I rolled them in were rather a mess. However, I will say, they were delicious.

I love these things, but I need to rethink the dipping process. I've been melting chocolate and butter over a double boiler, but I always find that about halfway through the process, the chocolate hardens into a most unappetizing mess. I either need to work in smaller batches, or else I may try a ganache (the additional cream ought to keep it smooth enough). I also find the dipper process a little difficult, because the candies don't really want to stick, but if you force them on, they look like they're stuck in the mud, instead of artfully speckled. I might also try just dumping the candies into the melted ganache next time.

That being said, this is a great summer treat and very customizable. You can use any kind of chocolate and any topping from candies to cookies to nuts. The Reese's Pieces worked really well with the banana and chocolate. And it really, really was yummy even if it didn't look like it.

Grade: B+ (docked for the less than beautiful appearance)

#51 Samuel Johnson Says:

2006-08-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

Some people have a foolish way of not minding, or pretending not to mind, what they eat. For my part, I mind my belly very studiously...for I look upon it that he who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else.

#50 Mmm...Rolls...

2006-07-31T10:45:00.000-07:00

My second foodie blogroll is for Is My Blog Burning? It's sort of like a central meeting spot for food bloggers, like a bulletin board. The fun thing is that they have lots of food "events," like "make bruscetta" or "wine blogging" which you make and post onto your own blog. I haven't done any events yet, as my life is in a state of chaos until we move, but I'm looking forward to it.

Chefs say you're either a burner or a cutter. I'm definitely a burner.

#49 Ring Pops

2006-07-30T17:40:00.000-07:00

I know everyone remembers these with childlike fondness. I do too. Which is why, whilst at a family BBQ today, I reached into that giant bin and pulled out a blue raspberry one. But believe me when I tell you, this is a lot of candy for one person. I was having a contest with an 11-year old to see who could finish their's first and by the time we'd whittled away 2/3, we were both like "You know, I don't want to do this anymore." An ELEVEN-YEAR OLD said, "No more candy"! The only good to come of it was my acid blue lips and tongue (to which my aunt, upon seeing it, said "Oh my God! What happened to your lips? You've been in the pool too long!"

#48 SOS

2006-07-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

I have one more banana recipe to post, but that will have to wait until Monday, when I'm back at work (9 days left!). Today, I'd like to, once again, profess my love and astonishment at the SOS scouring pad. I can hear those dirty pots and pans clinking and clanging out their Morse Code cry for help now...remember that commercial from the 80s?

At any rate, I was cleaning the frying pan I had made the plantains in and there was a little grease spot in the corner that did not want to come out no matter how much I soaked or scrubbed. Part of me (the lazy part) thought, o-well, guess I'll just have a grease spot. Who cares? But another part of me (the part writing this post) thought, let's bust out the SOS. With a regular dish pad, I must have scrubbed for 10 minutes, to no avail. With the SOS, I scrubbed for thirty seconds and it came right off.

All hail steel wool!

PS-If you live in New York, it's also a good thing to put in wall holes to prevent insects and vermin from infesting.

#47 Fruit Pizza

2006-07-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well, some people loved this, but I didn't. The combo of sugar cookies, cream cheese, and fruit just didn't do it for me (although I love all of those things separately). Girl Ray mentioned that her family used whipped cream instead of cream cheese, and I do believe, should I make this again, I will follow suit. I used strawberries, blueberries, bananas, and apriums (the pluots' cousin). It sure is pretty, huh? The recipe comes from Paula Deen.

Pizza Dough:
1 package store-bought sugar cookie dough

Toppings:
8 ounces softened cream cheese
1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 large peach, sliced
1 large green apple, sliced
1 large orange, sectioned
1/2 pint fresh strawberries, sliced
6 ounces fresh blueberries
6 ounces fresh raspberries
1/2 cup white chocolate chips, melted
1/2 cup chocolate syrup

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Flatten cookie dough onto a 6-inch pizza pan. Bake until firm to touch, about 11 to 15 minutes. Cool. In a medium bowl, blend cream cheese and sugar. Spread the baked cookie with the cream cheese mixture and decorate with sliced fruit. In a small bowl, combine melted white chocolate with chocolate syrup. Top the pizza with remaining berries and chocolate mixture. Slice and serve immediately.

Grade: C+

#46 Banana Rum Coconut Cookies

2006-07-27T09:50:00.000-07:00

Originally, I made these as a take home gift for the party-goers, but after I made them, I realized I didn't really have enough, so I just put them out with everything else and gave people skillets and nail polish and old CDs to take home instead. I think these tasted good, but the texture was very cakey. The online comments for this recipe warned me of such, so I wasn't surprised, but after like two days, they became very chewy. Not sure I'd make them again as I feel there are better uses of banana, rum, coconut than this. The recipe comes from Cooking Light.

2/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/2 cup ripe mashed banana (about 1 medium)
1/2 cup reduced-fat mayonnaise (a reader suggested using 1/2 cup applesauce and 1 tbsp oil, which is what I did cause mayo don't belong in cookies!)
1 teaspoon rum (I used 1 tbsp)
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup quick-cooking oats
1/2 cup flaked sweetened coconut
1/2 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (I think I omitted these)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Dash of ground ginger

Preheat oven to 350°.

Place first 4 ingredients in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until blended. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour and remaining ingredients, stirring with a whisk. Stir flour mixture into banana mixture. Drop dough by 2 tablespoonfuls onto parchment paper-lined baking sheets. Bake at 350° for 19 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from pan; cool completely on a wire rack. (Again, because of their cakey consistency, you may want to spread them out a little before you bake them, so they cook evenly.)

Grade: B-

#45 Pineapple Upside Down Cake

2006-07-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this didn't have any bananas in it, but, as I said, I owed it to Cos. This was my first time ever making one and I think it turned out pretty good. There wasn't enough caramel topping (and I don't know why I didn't think to make some more), so it was a little dry, but otherwise, I thought it was a valiant effort on my part.

Alas, I cannot post the recipe, because, as I have also mentioned, my computer is broken, and that where I keep the recipes, and I can't remember where this one came from to look it up online. But if anyone's dying for it, let me know, and I'll email it once I have access to my recipes again.

Grade: B

#44 Double-Fried Plantain Rounds

2006-07-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

I think these were the hit of the party. I've never fried anything before (we saute a lot at my house), so I was excited to use a new technique. I'd also never used plantains before. This was a pretty simple process, although it did take awhile to pound them all out. I served them with a sweet and spicy chili jam (bought at Whole Foods after I had the truly amazing jalapeno jam at Mesa Grill, which is, alas, not available outside of that restaurant...I shall miss you, jalapeno jam, when I leave). This recipe comes from Michael Chiarello.

4 green plantains
2 cups vegetable oil
Salt and freshly ground pepper

Peel plantains and cut into 1-inch thick rounds.

Heat the oil in a small saucepan until hot but not smoking. Drop the plantain rounds into the hot oil 3 or 4 at a time and cook until lightly browned, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove and drain on paper towels. (I crowded the pan and it didn't seem to have any effect on the frying time.)

Set each fried plantain on a flat side, and using a rolling pin, frying pan, or whatever else you think will work, squash it as flat as you can. It should have a circular shape.

Return the flattened plantain sections to the hot oil 3 or 4 at a time and cook until the entire surface is golden brown, about 2 minutes. Remove the plantains from the oil, drain, and season liberally with salt and pepper. Serve hot or at room temperature.

Grade: A

#43 Banana Split Cake

2006-07-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

The first of several recipes from the Bananarama party. This was a hit with the guests, but I didn't love it. It was overly sweet for me. Next time I might skip the pudding. But it looks gooey and delicious and you know what Rachel Ray says: You eat with your eyes first. Isn't that gorgeous?

Recipe comes from Martha Stewart.

For the Pudding: (for the record, I used instant pudding)
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/2 cup granulated sugar
Pinch of salt
2 large eggs
2 cups whole milk
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

For the Whipped Cream: (I made fresh whipped...you can use Cool Whip, but, honestly, anything that keeps in the fridge for six months, scares me)
2 cups heavy cream
1 tablespoon confectioners' sugar

For the Assembly:
Yellow Cake, baked in two 8-inch round cake pans (I bought an Entenmann's loaf cake)
4 large bananas, peeled and halved crosswise then lengthwise (I diced them for easier eating)
1/2 cup store-bought chocolate sauce, warmed
1 maraschino cherry, for decorating
Yellow sprinkles, for decorating
1/4 cup toasted walnuts, chopped (optional)

1. Make the pudding: Prepare an ice-water bath; set aside. Whisk together cornstarch, 2 tablespoons granulated sugar, and salt in a small bowl. Whisk eggs in another bowl until smooth; whisk into cornstarch mixture. Set aside.

2. Whisk together milk and remaining 6 tablespoons sugar in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Slowly pour milk mixture into egg mixture, whisking constantly.

3. Pour mixture back into saucepan. Cook, whisking constantly, over medium-high heat until thickened, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat, and pour through a sieve into a medium bowl. Whisk in butter and vanilla. Set bowl in ice-water bath, and let cool, stirring occasionally, 30 minutes. Pudding can be refrigerated in an airtight container up to 3 days. (Again, I used instant, so I skipped these three steps.)

4. Make the whipped cream: Put cream into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment; beat on medium speed until soft peaks form. Add confectioners' sugar. Beat until stiff peaks form. (I was out of confectioners', so I used superfine. I would stay away from granulated sugar though.)

5. Assemble the cake: Using a serrated knife, trim tops of cakes level, then cut each in half horizontally, making 4 layers. Place 1 cake layer into the bottom of a straight-sided 4-quart bowl (about 8 inches in diameter and 6 inches high). Spread with 1/2 cup pudding, then with 3/4 cup whipped cream. Arrange 4 banana quarters on top; top with another cake layer. Repeat 3 times, decorating final banana layer with a dollop of whipped cream. Drizzle with chocolate; top with a cherry. Sprinkle with sprinkles and nuts, if desired. Using a large spoon, divide portions among serving bowls. Serve immediately.

Grade: B-

#42 Bananarama

2006-07-23T19:48:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the short posts this weekend, but we're having computer issues (the issue being that our computer doesn't work), so I'm posting on a substitute computer. Posts will be better during the week when I'm at work.

This Saturday, I had a Bananarama party (my second one, no less), where we celebrated this humble fruit. I made frozen bananas with Reese's Pieces, banana split cake, banana coconut rum cookies, fruit pizza, double-fried plantains, and pineapple upside down cake (no bananas in that one, but I owed it to Cos). Delia and I also concocted a not entirely successful banana ice cream drink. I'll post the recipes throughout the week. I love any chance to celebrate my favorite fruit!

Go Bananas!

#41 Ho Hum

2006-07-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of mangos now. Bananas, that's where it's at!

#40 Pho 32

2006-07-21T07:48:00.000-07:00

2 West 32nd Street
NY, NY 10001
212-695-0888

Smalls and I were meeting at the Dosa Hut for lunch on Monday (please not the title of this post is not "Dosa Hut," which should be the reader's first clue that things did not go according to plan). If you live in New York, you may remember Monday as being a God-awful hot day. I can't find the Dosa Hut, mostly because that's not the real name of the restaurant. It's real name is some authentic-sounding Indian name, the dosa bit is a mere parenthetical. In fact, when I call 411 for the address (of course they don't give you the address, they give you the phone number), they send me to a clothing store in SoHo called Dosa Hut.

So we're there, we're drinking water, we're mopping our shiny foreheads...we're waiting for service...come to find out, they're only doing a buffet and the dosa look rather sad indeed. Smalls does not want limp dosa and promises he knows of a place just around the bend.

He does not. We walk and walk and sweat and sweat and I wore wedge sandals so my feet are starting to hurt...

We end up at Pho 32, eating hot bowls of noodles. Mine had meatballs in it. I threw in some kimchi for good measure. It was pretty darn tasty.

Grade: B

#39 Spinach and Tofu Dumplings

2006-07-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

These are a little time consuming to make, but I liked doing it. Once you get into the rhythm of fill, moisten, fold it gets meditative and you can breeze through the assembly. They only take a few minutes to cook, and I froze the leftovers for another night (freeze them uncooked). Snowman thought they were a little bland, but he's a carnivore at heart. I, on the other hand, thought they were really scrumptious. We each ate about 10 as a meal. You decide for yourself. Recipe comes from the good folks at Food & Wine.

DUMPLINGS
5 ounces baby spinach (5 cups packed) (I used regular spinach to no ill effect)
5 ounces firm tofu, 1/4-in dice
2 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 sm. jalapeno chiles seed, mince (I used one and it was plenty spicy)
1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons Asian sesame oil
Salt and pepper
45 wonton wrappers (I pretty much doubled this recipe and still didn't get 45 dumplings, so I think their estimation is way off)

DIP
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tablespoons unseason rice vinegar
1 teaspoon honey

MAKE THE DUMPLINGS:
Bring a large saucepan of water to a boil. Add the spinach and cook for 20 seconds. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the spinach to a colander. When the spinach is cool enough to handle, squeeze it dry, then coarsely chop it. Keep the water hot.

Transfer the spinach to a medium bowl and stir in the tofu, cornstarch, jalapeños, soy sauce and sesame oil and season with salt and pepper.

Working with 4 wonton wrappers at a time, dampen the edges and mound 1 1/2 teaspoons of filling in the center of each wrapper. Fold 1 corner of each up over the filling and seal to make triangles. Repeat with the remaining wrappers and filling.

MAKE THE DIPPING SAUCE:
In a small serving bowl, stir the soy sauce with the vinegar and honey.

Return the water to a boil. Add the dumplings and simmer over moderate heat, stirring gently, until the edges are al dente, about 3 minutes. Carefully drain in a colander and transfer to a platter. Serve with the dipping sauce.

Grade: A

#38 Just Wondering...

2006-07-19T09:41:00.000-07:00

How can a girl who has a blog about food be engaged to a man who doesn't know what Go-gurt is?

#37 Freezer Burn

2006-07-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

I think everyone gets it: I like food. As such, I really enjoy a well-stocked fridge and pantry. However, now that Snowman and I are moving in a month, we are in the process of eating as much stuff out of said well-stocked food containment devices as possible.

This is our freezer. In it we have: fries, gin, frozen fruits, Philly Swirls, ravioli, broccoli pot pies, pizza, chicken tenders, taco meat, ice cream sandwiches, Lean Cuisines, a loaf of bread, acai, shrimp skewers, chicken breasts, and stir fry.

The question is: Can we eat all this?

The answer: Watch this space.

#36 You Down With BPP?

2006-07-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

I'm a fan of frozen dinners. I mean, sometimes you just don't want to cook and even takeout seems like too much effort. I don't go overboard with these, and I only eat certain kinds. I'm a big fan of Lean Cuisine (especially ones without a whole chicken breast...I never find that those reheat that well). Since I went alternate-day vegetarian (almost six months ago!), I needed to stock the freezer with some veggie dishes, so I turned to Amy's Organic.

This is where I discovered her Broccoli Pot Pies and I am in love--and this from a girl who doesn't even dig broccoli. There are broccoli, carrots and potatoes in a cheese sauce, all wrapped up in a wheat crust. I eat a couple every week and they are sooooo good.

#35 Undertranch a What?

2006-07-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

From Schott's Food & Drink Miscellany...

According to the Booke of Kervinge (c. 1508), in which were tabulated the different carving terms to be employed for different animals:

carving term.............................................................animal
spoil.........................................................hen
disfigure...........................................peacock
wing.......................................................quail
barb....................................................lobster
undertranch.....................................porpoise

So, let's try that in a sentence...

"Hang it all, Jeeves, I'm famished! Spoil the hen!"

#34 New Food: Acai

2006-07-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

Pronounced ah-SIGH-ee, and otherwise known as the palmberry, this fruit is harvested in the Amazon. It's full of antioxidants, amino acids, and omega fats and is truly delicious. I buy the frozen smoothie packs (sweetened with cane juice) and combine with a handful of strawberries, a banana, and 1/4 cup of apple juice. It is truly the most delicious smoothie I've ever had. Smooth, thick, ice cold...easily as good as anything I've had at Jamba Juice (no offense--I still love you, Jamba).

Don't fear the acai! Embrace it! And live longer.

#33 Brasserie

2006-07-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

100 E 53rd St.
NY, NY 10022
212-751-4840

A very sleek, mod layout--and you'd expect no less from a restaurant located inside the Mies Van der Rohe Seagram Building. But be warned: the airy, open space makes for very noisy eating.

My boss and I went to lunch here during Restaurant Week, so we had the $24.07 prix fixe (not that they give you that menu...you have to ask for it...and it comes on a thin whisp of paper...so everyone can tell)

I had an heirloom tomato appetizer with balsamic glaze and grilled onions. Very sweet and tart and lovely. For the entree I had skate Grenobloise, which was pan-fried and served with a lemon-caper sauce and some delightful haricots verts. The skate was fine...a little bland, and turns out I'm not a huge fan of lemon-caper sauce. Dessert was a superb creme brulee. The iced tea was faintly raspberry-flavored, and as a person who likes her tea strictly black, I have to say, this was really mellow and delicious.

Grade: B+

PS-I gave my boss notice at lunch too. That was free of charge!

#32 Free Fish!

2006-07-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

FreshDirect recently had a promotion (in conjunction with POM) for free cedar plant salmon with pomegranate glaze. The cedar plank came with very clear instructions that it was for outdoor grilling only, but this is NYC, and I don't have an outdoor. Instead, I soaked the plank in water for about seven hours, then warmed it up in a 400 oven for about ten minutes. I covered the plank with a little olive oil, threw on the salmons (which I dusted with salt and pepper) and turned the oven down to 375. After about eight minutes, I brushed on some glaze, cooked it about eight minutes more and plated up. I put some extra glaze on the plate for dipping. I'm not sure how much cedar flavor was imparted, but the salmon was delicious and the glaze was perfect with it.

I also cooked up some wild rice, which is, well, wildly different than white rice. It takes an hour to cook and it's very nutty, chewy and, quite honestly, bland. I threw in some parmesan cheese, which helped, but not enough. I ended up having to eat it with a mouthful of salmon to enjoy it at all.

This week, FD is giving away free steak! FREE STEAK!

#31 Apple Juice: The Real Deal

2006-07-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

We all grew up on the same kind of apple juice...you know, the dark brown stuff that looks like urine after a hard night of drinking and tastes like a sugar cube, with only the faintest whiff of anything apple-like.

That's not really apple juice! I was on FreshDirect, looking for apple juice for my smoothies, and I saw Red Jacket Orchards juice. It was only the palest yellow and I thought, "That's the color of an apple! I'll try it."

I must tell you, it's simply the best. It tastes like beautiful apple lovin'. Not too sweet, nothing artificial, and hey, it only lasts for a few weeks, so no preservatives either!

Nutritionists and chefs alike tell you to buy produce that grows as close to home as possible. This is my part and it's tastes so good!

#30 Spice Girl

2006-07-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

I stole this idea from SweetNick's. Since I missed the submission deadline, I figured I'd just throw it up on my own blog.

This is my spice cabinet:

I probably have four types of sugar: granular; brown; superfine; confectioner's (five if you count the Splenda, but that's going to my aunt's house soon); thirty spices (the Penzy's were a birthday present); and copious bags and paper: Ziplocs, sandwich bags, brown bags, freezer bags, saran wrap, aluminum foil, wax paper, parchment paper (I hated how we never had Ziploc bags growing up...I really wanted the yellow + blue = green!). Also note the Texamati rice on the lower left. Best rice on earth.

#29 Chat n' Chew

2006-07-10T09:56:00.000-07:00

10 East 16th Street
NY, NY 10003
212-243-1616

My sister (who asked that her code name be changed from "Angry Dolphin" to "13" to which I can only half-comply: "Angry 13") and I went here for brunch before a movie. I'd been here numerous times in the past, but I think that was all pre-blogging.

I had the green acres on a bun (essentially an egg sandwich), my sister had the mac n' cheese, and we split a plate of fries. My sandwich was quite delicious. The egg yolk was runny, the cheese was super melty, and the tomatoes were fresh. It came with a side of home fries, which were totally bland. The French fries were decent, but a little over done and limp for my taste. My sister's mac n cheese was creamy and delicious, though I wouldn't go so far as to call it fantastic, as I usually prefer a blend of cheese in my homemade mac instead of just American or cheddar, as this was.

Our waitress was super cute and adorable and our bill was low.

Grade: B

#28 Worst Friend...Ever.

2006-07-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

Cos turned 29 yesterday. I had promised so many months ago to make him a pineapple upside down cake for his birthday. I was looking forward to it as well since I had never made one before.

I totally forgot.

And we're not talking like it was 5PM yesterday and I think "Crap, I was supposed to make that cake!" We're talking TOTALLY forgot. As in Cos says, at the bar, "Where's my cake?" and that is literally the first time I thought about the cake in about two weeks.

I suck.

So, lovely Cos, here is the cake I never made you:

#27 Aliada

2006-07-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

29-19 Broadway
Astoria, NY 11106
718-932-2240

Snowman and I have lived in Astoria for over seven months now and have yet to visit a Greek restaurant. I told him they would revoke our Astoria membership card if we didn't go to one soon, so we decided to check out Aliada.

There's not much to talk about here, but what there was was good. We both had small, fresh starter salads, which come undressed, so you can slather them in oil and vinegar or eat them naked. I had the gyro platter. I haven't eaten a gyro in many, many years (it was hard to overcome the trauma of actually seeing the spit of pressed meat for the first time), but I was glad I revisited. The meat here was spicy and sweet and a little crispy. And they give you A LOT. Wrapped up in the fluffy pitas with a healthy dollop of tzatziki, this was truly a delicious meal. It also came with potatoes and rice, but I barely touched either as I wanted to leave as much room as possible for the superb meat. Service was pleasant and the prices were just right.

Grade: B+

#26 R & Arrrgh

2006-07-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

I can't decide about Rachael Ray. I don't really like her, but my favorite thing is to come home from work and watch 30-Minute Meals. Sometimes it unwinds me; sometimes it puts me to sleep. I never, ever want to make anything she cooks.

I think what bothers me most is that I always feel like I'm watching the same episode. She has about ten stock phrases that she pulls out all the time such as:

evoo--that's extra virgin olive oil [really, if you tell us what the abbreviation means every time you use it, stop using it]

It smells insane in here.

You can totally entertain with this meal.

Wash your greens when you get home from the market so they're ready to go when you're cooking.

Isn't that gorgeous?

I'm just gonna run my knife through this.

Let's not even go into her really awful wardrobe. Do people really still wear shirts tucked into high-wasted jeans? And has she heard of a support bra? I think not.

The funny thing is, one day I found myself browsing the cookbooks in Barnes & Noble and I came across her book No Repeats: A Year of Deliciously Different Dinners. I flipped through it and I actually liked most of the recipes I saw.

So I came to this conclusion: the whole reason I don't want to make any of her meals is actually because of her. If she could be replaced by, say, Data from Star Trek: Next Generation, I really think this show could sing.

#25 Happy Happy Hippo

2006-07-06T12:17:00.000-07:00

Cos bought me a tasty treat called "Happy Hippo" by Kinder. It's wafer on the outside and hazelnut cream on the inside. I was in a robot shop when he gave it to me. At the time, our friend, VE, was contemplating an online fundraiser so he could buy himself 100 1-ft. tall storm troopers. Anyway, new food! Yeah!

This is what he looked like when he was still in his plastic "cage." As you'll notice, one of his eyeballs went a little wonky, probably from a tumultuous night spent in my purse.

Now he is free and roaming around my apartment! I've shot him from his good side as he was quite self-conscious about the wandering eye.

I have bitten off his crunchy head to reveal his sweet, gooey insides. This was indeed a delicious treat! I may have even scooped up some crumbs he left behind on the stool and shoveled them into my mouth. MAY HAVE.

Shit, I feel a little bit bad about eating him. He was a good pet.

#24 Mmm...rolls...

2006-07-05T14:26:00.000-07:00

My first foodie blogroll is for the lovely and charming Amanda and Tyler at What We're Eating. I found it quite by accident, but it was love at first sight. Amanda makes amazing, inventive dishes (sockeye salmon with zucchini pancakes and egg, anyone?) and her main squeeze Tyler takes the most amazing photos of it all. You will want to lick your computer screen, trust me. Enjoy!

#23 The Language Barrier

2006-07-04T14:15:00.000-07:00

Snowman and I went to our local diner for lunch today. I got my usual multi-grain pancakes, but here's what happened when Snowman tried to order his meal:

SM: I'll have the tuna nicoise wrap.
Waitress: Oh, I'm so sorry, we are out of salmon. [English is not her first language, so she does in fact pronounce it sal-mon.]
SM: The tuna nicoise wrap.
W: Yes, we are out of salmon.
Me: But it's tuna.
W: Okay, let me check.

Of course, since the tuna nicoise wrap contained no salmon, he got exactly what he ordered.

#22 Pluot-cracy

2006-07-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

Yes, we have science to thank for the delightful pluot, a hybrid of 3/4 plum and 1/4 apricot. I'm not in love with either of those fruits as they are, but I love a good pluot (also known as a dinosaur plum). The skin is much sweeter than a standard plum and the flesh is much sweeter and moister than an apricot. The best of both worlds! I had my first of the season from Whole Foods last week (at an astounding $1.83 each!) and it was lovely.

#21 We Are America

2006-07-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at Delia's playing video games and eating all my favorite junk foods (they are such good hosts, they actually checked out my Top 100 Junk Foods list via D's Treo, whilst at the sto'): Oreos, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Munchies. I ate way too much, skipped dinner, and woke up in the middle of the night with a mild tummy ache. We played Katamari Damacy, Donkey Konga, Burnout, and Animal Crossing. Okay, so most of those games are Japanese...

#20 Red

2006-07-02T08:05:00.000-07:00

19 Fulton Street
New York, NY 10038
212-571-5900

Are we crazy? Maybe. But Cos wanted an adventure and we agreed. We started at 207th Street and Broadway, and proceeded to walk south. ALL THE WAY south (my poor throbbing feet!). 5 1/2 hours and 15 miles later, our reward was a meal at Red.

We pretty much picked this restaurant because we were all insanely tired, moderately cranky, and it was the first thing we saw. Our waitress was a little odd, but in a charming way (and, boy, did she loooove Jake). Jane, full of excitement, told her about our just completed adventure, to which our waitress said, "Cool. I used to walk from Hunter to Brooklyn all the time." So she wasn't THAT impressed, but she did bring us a giant pitcher of water and individual salsa cups for our chips in case anyone wanted to "double dip."

I ordered a banana strawberry smoothie. What I got was no banana and what was essentially a strawberry daiquiri, hold the likker. Not so good. However, my medium-cooked cheeseburger was almost perfect. It was loaded with fresh red onion, which I love on burgers. The "red" fries were also good (though Snowman remarked "I thought they'd be redder"). It was a huge lunch, which I couldn't totally finish.

It was really hard to get up after we ate. Our fatigue hit us like a skillet over our heads. I may or may not have lied down on the banquette for a little while.

Grade: B

#19 Gramps

2006-06-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

There's something you should know about me: when I was younger I hated peanut butter. I thought it was plebian. I wanted luncheon meats and fruit roll-ups, not PB&J and Fudge Rounds.

The first time I remember meeting my grandfather (on my dad's side) I was probably seven or eight. We were at his house in the backyard. I was sitting on his lap. He had just eaten a peanut butter and banana sandwich (oh, how little I knew of food then!) and I said, "Your breath smells." Seriously, those are the first words I remember saying to him.

There are many other stories I can tell you about my gramps and food.

He loved peach ice cream. He would keep it in the freezer, forget about, let it get fuzzy. He loved peaches period.

He made the best fried chicken.

We would come over and throw out his moldy cheese, and then later we'd see him salvaging it, scraping the mold off.

We would got to buffets for dinner and at the end of the meal, he'd stand up, reach into his back pocket and pull out a Ziploc bag. He'd fill it up with all the food he hadn't eaten. We were mortified.

I hated eating dinner at my grandparents' house because I felt like that is where food went to die (at my house, it was just in purgatory). Questionable food from questionable brands cooked in very questionable ways. It felt like a scene out of Better Off Dead, where a green gelatinous mass, speckled with raisins, would crawl off my plate like Jabba the Hut.

Now all those memories--maybe they're not the best, but they're sweet in the rosy, soft glow of the past.

#18 Waste Not, Want Not Or I Said NO Bacon!!!

2006-06-29T14:59:00.000-07:00

Snowman and I are at Houston's. I order the iced tea. They don't give me a straw. I'm not sure why, but they never give straws with their iced tea. Out of habit, I ask for a straw, but once they give it to me, I say to Snowman, "I forgot, I wasn't going to ask for straws anymore in an effort to conserve plastic. I mean, if they give me a straw, I'm going to use it, because it's not like they're going to save it if I don't, even if it's still wrapped. So it might as well be used. But if they don't give me one, I'm not going to ask."

Snowman called this the Straw Paradox, which is something to the effect of, some things might as well be used--even if you're morally opposed--because otherwise they'll just be thrown away.

This was a no-meat day for me (for those of you who don't know, I alternate days of not eating meat) so I order a salad, hold the bacon.

They don't hold the bacon. I say to the waitress, "This has bacon on it." She whisks it away.

But then we discuss: What's more important? That I don't eat meat on a no-meat day or that I don't waste the salad they gave me which they're just going to throw away? I mean, the pig is dead and the bacon is cooked.

I can't decide before my new salad arrives. With no egg, but still with bacon.

I say to Snowman, "What? I hadn't come to a conclusion about the Straw Paradox yet! I'm not ready to be tempted!"

I say to the waitress, "This still has bacon on it." I say it more because they got the order wrong twice and I want them to know it (although, the service is usually spot on).

I finally get the right salad, but I feel badly because I've wasted two and the pig is dead, dead, dead whether I choose to eat it or not.

This how I made my peace with the Straw Paradox: I'm not a vegetarian, and until I become a full-timer, if I ever receive a meal with meat in it, I'm going to eat it, because at this point I think it's more important not to waste the food than to stick to my princple not to eat it.

#17 New Food: Don Tat

2006-06-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

Don tat, don ta, Chinese egg custard...whatever you choose to call it, I'd never had it before. Smalls initiated me with a grab bag of different treats, all from Egg Custard King Cafe.

You know what egg custard tastes like? Eggs.

He got me four varieties: melon, egg white, banana, and almond. [I didn't take this photo, so they aren't the exact ones I ate, but they are from Egg Custard King. And, yes, the melon one is that bright green number!]

Melon: Not disgusting, but not palatable. Imagine eating a handful of scrambled eggs and a slice of honeydew. Chew.

Egg white: The best of the bunch! Flaky, buttery crust with sweet custard filling.

Banana: Runner-up favorite. The banana flavor definitely has an artificial feel, but some go for that. Like me.

Almond: As suspected, I didn't really like this one. I don't like almond extract. It seems like a too-concentrated almond taste, whereas real, fresh almonds are wonderfully mild.

I'd eat the egg white again any time, but I'm not sure how I feel about branching out into their kooky flavors anymore.

#16 Tropical Coconut Cake With Mango Sauce

2006-06-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

A friend requested a cupcake version of this cake recipe for her birthday, and I was happy to oblige. It's rather simple to make and ends up really moist and fruity. Since I made them as cupcakes (I squeezed out 18), I didn't make the mango sauce. Oh, and believe it or not, this recipe comes from InStyle.

1 ripe mango peel, chop (again, I omitted this)
2 tablespoons lime juice (I didn't use the lime juice, but I did zest one and add to the cake batter)
1 pound yellow (lemon) cake mix
11 ounces mandarin oranges
1 stick unsalted butter, melted
1/4 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
8 ounces crushed pineapple drain & reserve juice
2 cups heavy cream
1 package unflavored gelatin
1 cup sweet flaked coconut

Puree mango and lime juice in blender until smooth. Set aside. Heat oven to 350"F. Grease and flour two 9" round cake pans. In large bowl beat cake mix, oranges, butter, oil and eggs; pour into prepared pans (I lined a 12-cup muffin pan with ungreased liners; do not overfill cups).

Bake 27-32 min., or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean (I think I baked them about 20 min. I just followed whatever the cake box recommended). Remove cakes from pans and cool on wire rack. While warm, poke holes in top with wooden skewer; brush with pineapple juice.

In medium bowl whip cream; stir in gelatin and pineapple (I think a tsp. of vanilla extract would add a nice layer of flavor to the whipped cream). Place one cake layer on platter; spread with cream mixture. Top with second layer; frost sides and top. Cover all with coconut. Refrigerate at least 1 hour before eating. Serve with mango sauce. (I used an offset spatula to frost the cupcakes. I also toasted the coconut to add some color and crunch. I put the cupcakes in the fridge and didn't add the coconut until the last minute.)

Grade: A

#15 La Vuelta

2006-06-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

10-43 44th Drive
LIC, NY 11101
718-361-1858

A group came here to celebrate a dear friend's 30th birthday. Not much in the way of decor, but the drinks and food were tasty and the service pleasant. There was much fuss about how good the empanaditas were. I had a plate of nachos with cheese, sour cream, guac, and, oddly but delightfully, white bean puree. I love white beans and much prefer that topping to beans of the refried variety. Prices were very reasonable. Everyone left happy.

Grade: B+

#14 Dali

2006-06-25T05:07:00.000-07:00

While we were in Cambridge, we ate at a Spanish restaurant called Dali. We sat at the bar and ate some delicious tapas. This is what was over our heads--yes, the flowers are fake, but everything else is real! Ropes of garlic, dried peppers, and, yup, a boar's head and a fish head! It was really dark and red in there; I thought the decor was fantastic.

#13 Grace

2006-06-24T08:47:00.000-07:00

I finally bought Schott's Food & Drink Miscellany (it had been on my list since the book was published in 2003) and I find it very interesting to read. There are hundreds of fascinating little facts about the history of food, including this prayer before a meal, penned by everyone's favorite Scotsman, Robert Burns:

Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.

I like it because it's short and it rhymes. It's not quite as good as my favorite mealtime prayer though:

Rub-a-dub-dub
Thanks for the grub.
Yeah God!

#12 Astorians in Beantown

2006-06-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Snowman, Cos, and myself went to Boston. Here's a little video I cobbled together of our trip, which included many tasty libations, such as a "dark & stormy" and "cactus cosmo." [Sorry, I couldn't resist the Cheers theme song!]

#11 Mango Love

2006-06-22T09:14:00.000-07:00

I've eaten a lot of mangos this summer in my quest for the perfect smoothie, which, happily, I think I made this morning--a combo of mangos, raspberries, lemon juice, and apple juice. [A funny thing happened, though...at work I started to feel a little woozy. Why? Blood sugar spike from all the fruit. Next time I'll finish off the smoothie with a few almonds or a piece of whole wheat bread.]

So what are the health benefits of a mango, I wondered. Well, according to healthalternatives2000, one mango (I usually eat two in a smoothie) contains a healthy dose of dietary fiber, potassium, calcium, and vitamins A & C. There are roughly 140 calories per mango (which probably brings my total smoothie into the 400 calorie-range).

Tip: As far as I can tell, the best way to peel a mango is with a serrated knife. Stand the mango on the larger end and run the knife, as close to the skin as possible, down the mango. I tried using a vegetable peeler, and, needless to say, it was quite a mess!

#10 Anyeong!

2006-06-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

There are a few Asian grocery stores in the city that I like to frequent. My favorite--simply because it's more centrally located--is Han Ah Reum, fondly known as H Mart.

I went a few days ago with Smalls and bought some sardines, fish cakes, and bean sprouts out of the prepacked deli case. I don't think my mom ever made the fish cakes growing up, but I ate plenty of the sardines and sprouts throughtout my childhood. I just had some for lunch. Delish!

I also buy these delicious Japanese candies called Morinaga hi-chew [caveat: there is a generic brand of candy called hi-chew that should only be eaten in cases of dire desperation; make sure you get the good stuff with the konji writing!] that come in flavors like strawberry, grape, and yogurt. I buy whatever is there that day. They are a juicy, chewy taste explosion.

I like to buy at least one foreign item, something I've never had before and am not sure what it is either. There's plenty to choose from, since it's all in Korean or Japanese (even the stuff that is actually in English seems odd). I just look at the pictures and imagine putting it in my mouth. Sometimes I pick good things, sometimes I don't. This time I bought some Hello Kitty strawberry marshmallows with a jelly center. I'm not sure why I bought them since I don't like marshmallows that much (I guess I can't resist that adorable bow in her hair), but now that I'm halfway through the bag, I find them quite nice. Mildly fruity and not overly sweet.

#9 John Updike talks

2006-06-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

A quote from John Updike taken from TIME 6/5/2006:

And waste, the American waste. I find myself very disturbed lately by the fact that restaurants give you more than any sane person would want to eat, and food is packaged in bigger and bigger containers now so that you try to buy a mere quart of ginger ale and you have to buy a gallon of it that won't fit in the refrigerator. I'm very aware, almost for the first time in my life, of consumerism, being a dupe of consumerism.

I have to agree 100% with Updike. It is slowly dawning on me that my role as an American consumer is not a small one. How much to do I buy? How much do I throw away? How much could have been spared?

I think about it particularly as it concerns food. Growing up, the bigger the portion, the more I liked it. But now restaurants serve such huge portions, Snowman and I find ourselves often sharing entrees (and, naturally, being charged a plate-sharing fee). I hate throwing food away, but I also don't like being told how much I'm supposed to eat. It's a very difficult thing to reverse the mentality of reckless consumerism, but I am trying. I feel like it is vitally important to be respectful of my place on Earth, the footprints that I leave behind, the physical remnants of my existence. I would like for it to be as minimal as possible.

#8 Maroons

2006-06-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

244 West 16th Street
New York, NY 10011
212.206.8640

What a grueling subway ride Snowman and I had! A trip that would normally take 25 minutes, took over an hour. Thus we were very late for our reservation. But we did see a very tall Tim Robbins and his two boys in Union Square, so that kind of made up for it. This restaurant is packed and cramped. They have absolutely packed in as many tables as possible, leaving virtually no space between diners. The kitchen is smaller than my own, and, oddly, the bathroom sink is outside the actual bathroom. The booths are probably original fixtures, as they were more spring than cushion when I sat on them. The service was polite, although a bit harried.

Everyone I ate with had the fried chicken, which they all said was delicious. As it was a veggie day for me, I opted for the waffles with cream and syrup (their only two non-meat items were either waffles or pancakes). Definitely some of the best waffles I've had, and plenty of them. The cream added a really wonderful layer of sweetness. The cornbread that came with lunch was fresh and crumbly. It would have been nice to have been served butter with it, but it was still tasty without.

Grade: B

#7 Aix

2006-06-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

2398 Broadway
New York, NY 10024
212.874.7400

The weekend of eating out continues...this time to the ever-popular Didier Virot-owned French restaurant Aix (pronounced ehx). Lovely, dark, soothing decor and mostly pleasant service, but the food was hit-and-miss. My appetizer of grilled asparagus with shiitakes, striped beets, goat cheese, and walnut vinaigrette was fantastic. I love beets and paired with the tart cheese and sweet earthy asparagus, this was just delicious. However, my entree of a brisket sandwich with emmenthaler was quite unimpressive. The brisket was dry and flavorless (the tangy cole slaw helped somewhat). The French fries, however, were probably some of the best I've ever had. Crispy, hot, perfectly salted. The red-haired clown himself would be duly impressed. My latte, although mouth-searingly hot at first, was perfect. Overall, I'm afraid I have to mark it down for a rather boring entree, especially when it costs over $20.

Grade: B-

#6 Serendipity III

2006-06-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

225 East 60th Street
New York, NY 10022
212.838.3531

I've been here and handful of times and it's never that great. The ice cream is really good, but the wait is always infernal and the service condescending. But my cousin brought in her daughter and my sister wanted to treat us to ice cream and I thought, hell, let's go back. And I'm glad we did, because, yes, the wait was still interminable, but our waiter was downright delightful (something tells me he won't last there long).

I had the "ultimate BLT," which was tasty, but had some structural problems. Namely, it was on toasted Challah bread, which was too crumbly to hold the innards in very well. The tomatoes, although very fresh, were just sliced way too large and overpowered the other components of the sandwich. The bacon and lettuce were perfect. The mayo was on the side, so I applied it to my liking.

In additional, I had a side of fried parsnips, which were really great. They have a nice, earthy taste, but aren't overpowering. For dessert I had the Strawberries and Cream sundae, an tremendously large strawberry sundae layered with strawberry syrup, cheesecake, and whipped cream. It was delicious, until the cheesecake got waterlogged with melted ice cream, but by that point I was overstaed anyway.

Grade: B

#5 718 Restaurant

2006-06-17T15:26:00.000-07:00

35-01 Ditmars Blvd.
Astoria NY 11105
(718) 204-5553

Certainly one of the best restaurants I've eaten at in Queens. Dark, warm, romantic decor with soft cozy booths and table; a well-stocked bar; fresh, inventive food, beautifully presented. During a night of lamb, tilapia, mozzarella salad, thin crust pizza, and bread pudding, the hands down favorite was my bowl of yellow gazpacho, which consisted of tomatoes, squash, onion, garlic, olives, and pineapple. Spicy, cool and creamy, it was easily the best gazpacho I've ever had; the real question is whether it's the best soup I've ever had period (top five, for sure). Including a drink per person, we spent $47 each. A little pricey, but we all said well worth it.

Grade: A

#4 Pasta With Chicken and Mushrooms

2006-06-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

This was seriously tasty and very simple to make. I always get nervous around chicken because I feel like there is a paper-thin line between raw chicken and rubbery chicken, and because I'm concerned about salmonella, I feel like I tend towards rubbery. Not so last night! Chicken was wonderfully tender. Neither Snowman nor I like parsley very much, so I usually omit it, but this time I wish I hadn't. The green would have added a nice contrast to all the browness. The recipe comes from Everyday Food.

Makes 4 servings

Salt and pepper
3/4 pound bow tie pasta (obviously, any small pasta will do; I used penne rigate)
1 pound chicken tenders, quartered
2 teaspoons butter
1 pound small white button mushrooms stems trimmed, halved (I used cremini and kept the stems because I like the visual)
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup fresh chop parsley (as mentioned, I egregiously omitted this)

In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook pasta until al dente, according to package instructions. Reserve 1/4, cup pasta water; drain pasta, and return to pot.

Meanwhile, season chicken generously with salt and pepper. In a large skillet, melt butter over medium-high heat. Add chicken; cook, turning once, until cooked through, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a plate.

Add mushrooms to pan; season with salt and pepper. Cover; cook over medium heat until mushrooms release their liquid, about 5 minutes. Uncover; cook, stirring, until liquid has evaporated, 3 to 5 minutes more. Add wine; cook, stirring, until evaporated, 2 to 3 minutes.

Reduce heat to low. Add cream and chicken; stir to coat. Transfer to pot with pasta; add parsley and pasta water (if desired) (I did not desire. I thought the sauce was thin so I handed a handful of parmesan (after all, what's pasta without cheese?) and a tsp. of cornstarch (make sure you boil the sauce for a minute)). Toss to combine. Season again with salt and pepper; serve immediately.

Grade: A

#3 Gingerly

2006-06-14T14:23:00.000-07:00

I can't decide about ginger. I usually like it in controlled doses. A little ginger in my stir fry is a beautiful thing, but do I want to drink a glass of ginger beer? Not so much. I do, however, like ginger snaps an awful lot. Which is why I recently bought a package of Newman's Own Ginger-O's (think Oreos with gingersnaps instead of chocolate cookie). I have to say, they're really awesome. Enough ginger to give you a little bite, but not enough to make you want to scrape your tongue out. Plus you're supporting the lovely Paul Newman and charity at the same time! A co-worker said he had tried Newman's Own version of the Oreo and didn't like it. I said that was because it wasn't an Oreo, which are so ingrained on our taste buds that anything else tastes like crap (Hydrox, anyone?). There is no alternate version of Ginger-O's so you can approach it with a fresh palate.

Tip: If you buy a whole ginger root and only use a small amount for a meal, peel the rest and keep it in the fridge. It lasts forever and grates just as easily frozen as not.

#2 Cook'n

2006-06-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

A lot of people do certain repetitive activities as a form of meditation: knitting; gardening; playing piano. I load recipes into my Cook'n database. It's not as time-consuming as it used to be, mostly because my recipes come from magazines like Living and Food & Wine and they keep their recipes online, so it's little more than cutting and pasting. Some recipes--say ones I clip from a newspaper or come from friends--need to be scanned.

This still takes time, I admit. And I have stacks of magazines I haven't been able to digitize yet. But I still think it's worthwhile. The program lets me sort recipes how I choose (I block them by source and year) and as far as I can tell, there's no limit to how many recipes you can store (I must have several hundred by now). It came preprogrammed with its own recipes, but I deleted all of those, because I wanted only to include recipes that I hand-picked. I can also attach bmp photos, which I love. I can search by ingredient (great for when I use one stalk of celery for tuna fish and have six stalks left over). And I can add my own notes, so after I try a recipe I can add things like "needs more salt" or "careful not to over bake." I also add my initials to a recipe once I've tried it, so I can remind myself later. It also makes it really easy to share recipes through email. And think of how easy it would be to pass on to future generations! Instead of a huge binder with papers jutting out everywhere, all I have to do is hand over a CD! What I also like is that when I'm making something, I can print out the recipe and it doesn't matter if I spill oil or gravy or jam on it, because I can always print out another one!

Today I added some recipes for a shrimp, crab and avocado salad; honey-roasted root vegetables; potato dill bread.

#1 In the Beginning

2006-06-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

They say all roads lead to Rome, but I say all roads lead to my mouth.

I'm not sure what's going to become of this project--perhaps nothing at all. I'll post recipes and restaurant reviews as well as, well, basically, anything that has to do with food.

So this is what happened today:

For breakfast I had a leftover smoothie I had concocted for Snowman out of frozen blueberries, strawberries and raspberries plus a banana, some skim milk, and honey. Sounds good, right? Nope. Bleck. My first foray into smoothie-making, a dismal failure!

For lunch I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which I probably eat for lunch 3-4 times a week. I used to swear by Jif, but as I've gotten older (quel dommage!) I've decided to go the all natural route. I was having a hard time finding one that actually tasted like anything, until I came across Whole Foods own brand, called 365. They make a natural creamy peanut butter which is delicious and not overly-goopy like some of the naturals.

For dinner Snowman and I had--a real gastronomic delight--Kraft Mac N Cheese. I don't want to air anyone's dirty laundry, but Snowman tried to make it the other night and overcooked the pasta to a sad, mushy matter which was quickly deposited into the trash can. I added some broccoli, extra cheese, and a little chili jam (so wonderfully spicy and sweet) to jazz it up.

I also went to Barnes & Noble to find a proper smoothie book with recipes, since the one I made up on the cuff didn't work out so well. There is a much better selection on Amazon, of course, but when you get an idea in your head, only instant gratificiation will do. So there I was, sitting on the floor, books spread out, trying to figure out which smoothies sounded the healthiest, the most appetizing, the easiest to make. I settled on The Big Book of Juices and Smoothies because it had lots of tasty recipes, simple ingredients, and told you what vitamins you were getting and whether it was good for energy, immunity, detox, digestion, or skin. Haven't made any yet, but will soon.

I also ordered FreshDirect. Nothing like an impending shipment of munchies to help one sleep soundly!

Can't promise all entries will be this long. After all, 365 days is an awfully long time...

Blog Update

2006-06-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

It's not fair, I thought. Relegated to some side blog like last year's cowboy boots.

Something that takes up so much of my thought, love, energy, and waking life deserves its time in the sun. So here it is: a new version of an old blog. Move over random posts about doctors, astrology, and grief. It's time to write about bread, wine, and great big bowls of pasta.

I'm calling it "A Year of Food" because my plan is to write a daily post about food--recipes, restaurant reviews, cereal--whatever floats my boat. Your boat too, I hope. (Don't ask me where I got the idea to do 365 days of something...probably from this guy.) Can I do it? Who knows. I don't have the longest attention span, so a year of food, may devolve into a week of food. Let's see what happens.

To that end, and in the interest of time, I'm nixing the side blogs. I'll still occasionally post about things that aren't related to food, but for the most part, if I can't eat it, drink it, or fry it up in a pan, it's not making onto my blog.

I've already written two entries, so I'm going to back-post those.

Bon appetit!

My Most Fabulous Day III

2006-06-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well, these days sure are going downhill fast! To refresh, the score is 1-1. June 7th was "fabulous day" #3.

The recap:

I had a cold. I must have sneezed 900 times. I think I actually injured a rib from excessive sneezing. not fabulous

I wore the wrong pair of socks with my sneakers and they kept wriggling off my foot. I spent most of the day with my sock half on and half off. not fabulous

It rained all day. This I actually didn't mind that much. The temperature was pleasant enough. fine

I had a Jamba Juice berry fulfilling smoothie for dinner. I'm in love with Jamba Juice. If it weren't so expensive, I would have one every day. lovely

I tried to take a nap before going out, but it was not to be. There is nothing worse than when a nap lets you down. not fabulous

VE, CosCreative, and I got together to work on a "best cover albums" project, which was fun. There are a lot of album covers out there--good and bad. It will be interesting to see how all our different tastes stack up against each others. But, you know, I was tired because of no nap and still sneezing up a storm. Still, I'd say very lovely.

Overall, what can I say? This days wasn't that great. The cold really sucked.

Score is now 1-2.

Next Fabulous Day: June 30th.

Dr. Hibbert Will See You Now (Or How To Waste $15)

2006-06-08T18:53:00.000-07:00

In my time in New York I've accumulated quite a cadre of doctors: internists, specialists, surgeons--you name it, I've seen someone for it. I probably find about 90% of these doctors pretty good at what they do, which is pretty good considering most were picked solely on the basis of their proximity to where I work. But there is one doctor I've never particularly liked, and oddly, he's the one I've had the longest: my general practititioner.

I suppose the reason I never bothered to change was because I never saw him that much. He'd give me my flu shot and I'd see him if I wanted to check my cholesterol or my allergies were bothering me, but over the course of eight years, this has only amounted to a handful of visits.

One time I had an allergic reaction to a medicine I was taking. I was covered in hives; I had a fever; I couldn't even bend my fingers they were so swollen. When I went to see him the first thing he said was "Wow, you might have some mysterious illness." Or hives.

The next time I had an allergic reaction to a different medicine, I went to my dermatologist. Who actually knew what it was.

For about five days I had had a sore throat which progressed into a racuous cough. Normally I won't go to the doctor for a cold unless it's gone on for a week, but I felt oddy pressured by my boss (I had left work early and felt somehow that was contingent upon my seeing the doctor).

As soon as I said "cough" he said "bronchitis." As soon as he said "bronchitis" little bells went off in my head. I mean, I'm no doctor myself, but I'm pretty sure a cough is a sign of many things, including the common cold. As I continued to describe my condition, he continued to repeat bronchitis.

All for this: he's a pill pusher. All he wanted to do was give me a prescription for something. He always has pharma reps in his office. They are always young, pretty girls. He is always super chatty. There must be some sort of reciprocity involved: the more samples he moves, the more pens and magnets he gets.

He shoved an antibiotic sample and prescription in my hand. Asked if I needed any other pills--mood stabilizers, sleeping pills, Viagra, Accutane, prevacid (this guy must give out GREAT Easter baskets).

So many times we don't listen to our guts and it turns out our guts were right. I knew I didn't have bronchitis. I never filled the prescrip and the sample is sitting on my dresser. Two days later, my cold seems to be clearing up nicely.

What I'm really saying is this: get your reqeusts in now, friends. Next time I see Dr. Hibbert, I'll be sure to hit him up for whatever you need.

Fun With Science

2006-06-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you're bored at work. Not just what actually happened on the video, but the making of it as well. Bored, bored, bored.

But really, this ranks as one of my favorite moments at my job. That and winning the Oscar pool last year. That and spending an hour fishing a tiny envelope out from behing a cubicle with a coat hanger. That and watching my boss eat a rice krispies treat and having it fly out of his mouth and fall on the floor. That and...nope, that's it.

To find out how to do it, go here.

PS-This video doesn't seem to work in Mozilla, so use an ie-based browser.

PPS-At home I tried an ie-based browser and it DIDN'T work, but used Mozilla and it DID. So I don't know what to say, except you should see a blue "play" button in the middle of the screen or it won't work properly. Clearly, I have not totally gotten the hang of embedding home video.

You Can Quote Me...

2006-05-31T11:34:00.000-07:00

I like quotes. Much like lists, in a world over-saturated with information, quotes seem like a good way to parse things out. One of my favorites is credited to Dame Julian of Norwich, a 14th century mistic: All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

I also like to compile quotes from the books I read. I don't necessarily think putting a "favorite quote" at the end of my book reviews in MICHELLEPHANT READS BOOKS necessarily captures all the nuances of what I've read, but I think it gives someone who has not read the book a decent idea as to the general tone.

I think a lot of times people are quoted out of context and I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. And I have thus far not posted anything even remotely political because I find arguing rather boring. But, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this dude?

I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5-lb. perch in my lake.--George W. Bush, answering a German newspaper reporter who asked him to name the best moment of his five years as president. (taken from from TIME 5/22/06)

2006-05-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

All I have learned about life can be summed up in three words: it goes on.

—Robert Frost

O, Magical Internet, What Else Will I Learn From You?

2006-05-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

We've all gotten those emails. Now think for a minute and try to anticipate which type of emails I'm actually talking about. Spam? Chain letters promising $2500 from Mr. Bill Gates himself sent from a lawyer who "knows" what she's talking about? Jokes with rudimentary animation, usually involving a middle-aged fat man dropping his pants? No. No. No.

I'm actually talking about those personal quizzes that get passed around like mono on prom night. I like the quizzes. I try not to forward them too much, because I consider email a legitimate form of communication and not a means by which to make my friends dread hearing from me. But I like them nonetheless. Why? Because I like to believe it matters to someone other than myself and the CEO of General Mills what I had for breakfast this morning (yogurt burst Cheerios, FYI). Because like this very blog, I want proof of my existence. Not just for others to have proof I existed, but proof for myself. Maybe in a few days I won't remember what I had for breakfast this morning, but if I look at that old email, I'll remember those Cheerios and picture myself sitting on the couch in my strawberry patch-patterned PJs, watching NY1 (hi, Pat!), trying to figure out how to get out of going to work. Good times.

I got an unusual quiz the other day. It was one where instead of filling out information about yourself, you fill out information about the person who sent it to you. I can't believe I've never seen this before, because I feel like if there is a forward out there, it will inevitably make it into my inbox. This quiz wasn't all that interesting. They didn't ask very probing questions and the questions they did ask like "What was the first thing I said to you?" just don't apply when you've known someone for ten years and can't even remember the last thing they said to you.

There are two things I found out from this quiz. One is that if I were on a deserted island with anyone who knows me I am expected to either craft the hell out of it with rubber stamps and diecuts or else bring the Cheetos.

The other thing involves this question: Are you rebel or do you follow the rules? Most of my friends said I followed the rules, but my cousin said I absolutely did NOT follow the rules. So who's right?

I guess it depends what the rules are.

I follow the rules:

I don't litter.

Or smoke.

Or drink much.

Or do any kind of drugs.

I don't speed when I drive.

I actually use the library and return my books on time. If I don't, I pay the ten cent fine.

I floss.

I don't like to sleep on my left side because I hear it's bad for your heart.

I don't use my teeth to open bottles.

I recycle.

I don't follow the rules:

I don't believe in God (I'd like to, but I'm honest enough with myself to admit I'm highly suspicious).

I have more stuffed animals now than when I was twelve. I talk to them. They talk back.

I think voting for the president is more important than voting for the next American Idol.

I eat potato chips for dinner.

I shower as little as possible and wash my hair even less.

I don't care if my boyfriend goes to strip clubs, looks at porn, or reads Playboy (not that he does any of those things)

I play with my food.

I go to fancy restaurants, take off my shoes, and tuck my feet under my butt.

I want to name my first born Tristmegistus. Or Newly.

I think in the end it's relative. Literally. My family—sure they have their psychotic moments, but for the most part, they're pretty normal. So to them, I appear odd. Whereas most of my friends are of the free-thinking, creative variety and to them, I appear un-odd.

I suppose, really, it's nice to be both. Isn't that right, Pippo?

Why, yass, that is certainly correct.

The Secret Behind Olive Garden's Meat Lasagna

2006-05-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

ORPHAN: Hi.

OLIVE GARDEN HOST: Oh. Yes?

O: Do you have a family for me?

OGH: Excuse me?

O: A family. I need a family.

OGH: I don't know what you're talking about. Look, we don't serve homeless people here.

O: But your ad says "When you're here, you're family." I need a family.

OGH: It's just an ad. It doesn't mean anything.

O: What happened to truth in advertising?

OGH: Look, you need to leave or I'm going to call the police.

O: Try it. I've got Angelina Jolie on speed dial. Now either you get me a family or I will unleash a PR campaign against this company, from which you will not recover. Imagine this splashed across the pages of People: "Angelina Jolie boycotts Olive Garden for unfair advertising and discrimination against the parentless."

OGH: Just a minute. [speaks into headset] Is Todd Sweeney around? Okay, thanks. [to the orpan] Someone will be with you shortly, if you'd like to take a seat.

O: That's what I thought.

[After a few moments, a man in a suit comes into the lobby.]

Todd Sweeney: Hello, Orphan. I'm the manager of this establishment. You would be so kind as to come with me?

O: Am I getting a family?

TS: You certainly are. We stand behind our campaign 100%. We promised that when you came here you'd be family, and family you are.

O: Finally! A chance to be loved!

[Sweeney leads Orphan to the back kitchen, chatting amiably the whole time about all the wonderful things the Orphan will be able to do with his new family like go to Disney, play catch, and have birthday parties. Orphan tears up a little.]

TS: They're just around this corner. And they're so excited to meet you!

[Orphan turns the corner, where an ax-wielding sous chef quickly chops off his head.]

TS: Grind him up.

Olive Garden: When You're Here, You're Family. Unless You're An Orphan. Then You're Lasagna.

The Day the Music Died.

2006-05-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

When we're not spending all our free time writing in our blogs, reading other people's blogs, posting comments on blogs, posting comments to comments on blogs, looking at site traffic for our blogs, well, that's when we do worthwhile things like cure cancer, come up with alternative fuel sources, and make really delicious meals for the homeless.

Syke!

We talk about our blogs on gmail chat. This is a recent conversation I had with my lovely friend at Vinyl Edition when the blogger site was down (edited for clarity (his parts, not mine)):

Vinyl Edition:
a - why is my blog dead?
b - why does it feel like my child has died?
c - when will this be fixed?
d - can't they post some "Blog Down" page instead of showing a half-naked HTML-exposed version?
e - hu
f - i mean hi

Michellephant: I can't get to mine either. And I know how cranky mine gets when it doesn't get the attention it wants.

VE: Right? I got to yours via my dad's cpu but I can't get to it through mine.

M: Blogger gets wonky all the time.

VE: Speaking of which let's talk about how much I love Nutter Butter.

M: It's almost not worth it to be free.

VE: You nailed it. They taste like peanuts and they're shaped like peanuts. God, I love them.

M: You know it took a long time for me to like them. Once I had a filling at the dentist and I was shot up on novocaine...

VE: Well - they say it takes a long time to like anything worth liking.

M: ...I was hungry so I ate Nutter Butters but my tongue wasn't working so I chewed the shit out of it.

VE: ha ha ha

M: I'm over it now.

VE: So good. What, oh, what will be in your top 10? My favs have all made appearances
(i think).

M: As soon as blogger starts working again I'm ready to finish it up.

VE: DAMN BLOGGER. I'm taking my business elsewhere. When I got to yours, it was undressed.

M: Yeah! Somewhere where i have to PAY. Wait, no i'm not.

VE: Only half the list came up, and there was HTML code everywhere. I felt like I was seeing you naked.

M: What a trampy blog!

VE: I clicked "close," thinking - no, no, I shouldn't be seeing this.

M: You are a decent man.

VE: Thank you. I mean I looked for a LITTLE while but then closed it.

M: Well you are a MAN, decent or not. To be expected. Is this what it's like to have a Tamagochi?

VE: I think maybe so. You panic. You go - hey! You don't know what to do like a helpless parents. This is what it's like to have a child with cancer.

M: Yes, exactly like that. If I ever have a kid with cancer, I'll say to it, "You know, this reminds me of when I had a blog..."

[deleted talk about emoticons, Gilmore Girls, Lost, cyrogenically frozen heads, and anorexic fairies]

VE: I just thought of a quick rant. You know what?

M: What?

VE: No - blogger ISN'T free. Sure, it doesn't cost us money for the "privilage" of being able to write and self-publish and be creative and get attention, BUT that shit takes time. There are millions of blogs, tons of them get HUGE traffic, Ad Sense monitors Google's overall traffic, therefore, what we have is essentially a socialist system where only the top dog gets his day. It's communism and capitalism combined and while the workers control the means of production only those at the top get paid. Done.

M: Oh of course...it's free monetarily, but costs a lot in mental energy. The top dog thing...that's the world.

VE: So I've heard. I know. I'm half-kidding. I smile as I type.

M: I'm thinking about staging a revolution.

[deleted talk about a friend we'd rather not let get out...we say good-bye]

[six minutes later]

VE: The doctors just called. Our babies are alive.

M: I know! I'm on it.

VE: Wooo hooo!!! Why the relief? Why the JOY?!

[more deleted talk about our nameless friend and how VE wants to kill said person and drink his/her blood]

VE: I think blogger died again. Nevermind. Sigh.

Jesus wept.

The end.

My Most Fabulous Day II

2006-05-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't remember, let me refresh: this year, I am keeping track of my "fabulous days" as put forth by some unknown women's magazine for my astrological sign. The first day was February 20th and I rated it on the "low end of fabulous." The next day was May 7th. Here's the recap.

It was Sunday, so I had to tutor the eight-year olds. It was one of the better days (they were mostly well-behaved and the class went by quickly), but nobody likes working on Sunday. not fabulous

I had a sinus headache when I got home, so I took some Benadryl, which I feel is somewhat equivalent to taking a roofie. I didn't go to sleep, but I was extremely groggy and unaware. very not fabulous

After tutoring, I had planned on going to the park for a jog, but instead took a nap. Bad, because I didn't run, but I can't ever complain about napping. fine

I ate an entire bag of Poppycock for dinner. fine

I watched two of my favorite shows, Gilmore Girls and Scrubs. GG has been wildly hit or miss this season, but Scrubs continues to delight. very fine

I played Yahoo games when I couldn't fall asleep, and one of the women in the room was a teacher who kept spelling "bleeding ulcer" as "bleading ulser." I hope to God my children never have that woman as their teacher. fine

Since Snowman was asleep and I wanted to read, I propped a flashlight on my shoulder. It made me think of camping or staying up past my bedtime when I was kid. very fine

Overall, this day gets an "okay" rating from me, which makes the score 1-1.

Next fabulous day: June 7th.

Junk (Food) In My Trunk #26-1

2006-05-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

The end of the road...

25. Nabisco Wheat Thins. Hands down, my favorite cracker. I heart salt.

24. Nabisco Teddy Grahams (Chocolately Chip). The smooth-skinned offspring of a mixed marriage.

23. Snackwells Devil's Food Cookies. I like the chewy texture and how the coating crackles when you bite into it.

22. Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream (Phish Food). I love the little chocolate fish!

21. Planters Salted Cashews. The perfect combination of salty and sweet.

20. Pringles (Sour Cream and Onion). I lick off the sour cream powder and then eat the chip.

19. Combos (Pepperoni Pizza Cracker). I break them open and eat the cheese first. (Seriously, is what is wrong with me?)

18. Pepperidge Farm Flavor-Blasted Cheddar Goldfish. This powdery version is far superior to the plain ones.

17. Snickers Ice Cream Bars. One of my favorite deli treats and much tastier than real Snickers. How come the caramel doesn't freeze? It's a mystery of science...

16. Ben & Jerry's Frozen Yogurt (Half-Baked). I'm really into chewy...this ice cream has a great blend of brownies and cookie dough.

15. Hostess Fruit Pies (Cherry). This reminds me of road trips and 7-11s. Memories, misty colored memories...

14. Ruffles (Cheddar and Sour Cream). I really like orange food. Take that, Billy Bob Thornton!

13. Doritos (Nacho Cheese). The best thing to happen to a tortilla chip.

12. Munchos. Like Pringles, but greasier, crunchier, yummier.

11. Terra Red Bliss Roasted Garlic & Parmesan Potato Chips. These make your breath stink like you licked a skunk's ass, but they are so damned good.

10. Lays Potato Chips (Sour Cream and Onion). The best of the sour cream and onion family.

9. Lays Potato Chips (Cheddar and Sour Cream). Fake cheese strikes again!

8. Little Debbies Zebra Cakes. I love these because my mom would never buy them when we were kids. I peel off the outer layer, lick out all the cream, then throw the cakes away.

7. Little Debbies Strawberry Shortcake Rolls. Whenever Sea Thing was in a bad mood when we lived together, I'd bring some of these home to take the edge off.

6. Girl Scout Cookies Samoas/Caramel Delites. Chewy, coconutty, caramely tastiness.

5. Doritos (Cool Ranch). When I was in high school, my lunches consisted soley of a big Hawaiian fruit punch and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.

4. Planters Cheez Balls. I stick my tongue right into the blue tin and let the cheez balls adhere like velcro.

3. Fritos (Chili Cheese). A little spicy, a little cheesy, a little corn chippy.

2. Lays Classic Potato Chips. These are just simple, salty, crunchy and perfect. You cannot pass a giant bowl of these chips at a party and not stick your hand in.

1. Funyuns. These kind of tear up the roof of my mouth, but it's so worth it. I've been known to shake the crumbs out of the bag directly into my mouth.

Junk (Food) In My Trunk #50-26

2006-05-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

And so it goes...

50. Stacy's Pita Chips (Parmesan, Garlic and Herb). No need for dip!

49. Nabisco Better Cheddar Crackers. I like food that rhymes.

48. Keebler Animals Iced Cookies. Love these cinnamon-ey iced treats. I like to name them all, tell them they've been veeerrrry bad, then bite their heads off.

47. Miss Vickies Chips (Jalapeno). Dear God, I love jalapeno.

46. Little Debbie Fudge Brownies. In no way resemble the brownies you make at home, but there is something addictive about them anyway.

45. Murray Chocolate Chip Cookies. I used to put these on each finger and wave them around like jewels.

44. Nabisco Nutter Butters. Not only do they taste like peanuts, but they look like them too!

43. Cheez-Its Twisterz (Cheddar and More Cheddar). I also like to pull these apart. Basically, if I CAN play with my food, I WILL.

42. Nabisco Oreos. Classic cookie perfection.

41. Entenmann's Rich Frosted Donuts. If you refrigerate them, the bottom gets wonderfully crunchy.

40. Moon Pies (Chocolate). A great gas station/roadside treat.

39. Corn Nuts (BBQ). Corn gone bad.

38. Jello-O Chocolate Vanilla Swirl Fat Free Pudding. I could go for something Jell-O.

37. Utz Onion and Garlic Potato Chips. In my mind, these are so much better than salt & vinegar.

36. Cheez-Its (White Cheddar). Mmm...powdery cheese residue on fingers...

35. Royal Dansk Butter Cookies. Nothing says Middle America like a blue tin of Danish cookies.

34. Moon Pies (Banana). Yeah for banana treats! I like to pull the cookies off and eat the marshmallow center separately.

33. Hostess Sno Balls. I can't get over how soft these are. I want to make a Sno Ball pillow.

32. Little Debbie Nutty Bars. Shocker...I like to pull the wafers apart before I eat them.

31. Haagen Dazs Ice Cream (Dulce de Leche). Caramel and vanilla? So freaking delicious.

30. Bonne Maman Raspberry Tartlets. Chewy, flaky, fruity, refined.

29. Nabisco Chips Ahoy! I have always favored Chips Ahoy! over Oreos.

28. Pepperidge Farm Dark Chocolate Chunk Nantucket Cookies. I love these crunchy cookies.

27. Pepperidge Farm Chessman Cookies. The only time I like playing chess.

26. Planters Dry Roasted Peanuts. I like to suck on them to get all the salt out. Is that weird?

Junk (Food) In My Trunk #75-51

2006-04-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

The list continues...

75. Skinny Cow Fat Free Fudge Bars. Chocolate goodness.

74. Nabisco Fig Newtons. Not a cookie. Fruit and cake.

73. Pepperidge Farm Pirouette Cookies. Man, these are good with a steaming cup of cocoa.

72. Keebler E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies. I like to set these up like dominoes, then knock them all over.

71. Fritos (Original). Someone once said Fritos smelled like dogs. I like food that smells like dogs.

70. Ritz Crackers. I have to leave the box in the kitchen or I will eat them all at once.

69. Bahlsen HIT Cookies. I used to think these were Asian when I was a kid. But they're not.

68. Munchies (Classic). Sun Chips, Cheetos, Doritos...if only they'd get rid of the pesky pretzels.

67. Ritz Bitz Cheese Cracker Sandwiches. Fake cheese makes another appearance. I think I actually like it more than real cheese.

66. Handi-Snacks Breadsticks 'n Cheez. Another fake cheese entry...am I being predictable?

65. Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. I like to unroll these, lick out all the cream, then eat the cake.

64. Pepperidge Farm Raspberry Chantilly Cookies. I love the powdered sugar that gets all over my lips.

63. Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches (Coffee). Big ice cream sandwiches that don't taste healthy at all.

62. Entenmann's Crumb Donuts. A portable version of the crumb cake I grew up on.

61. Philly Swirls Cups. Someone once said the cotton candy flavor made him mouth have an orgasm.

60. Cheetos. I remember the Moving Debacle of 2005...I had Cheetos for lunch.

59. Jax Cheese Puffs. Seriously, what's with all the fake cheese?

58. Hostess Twinkies. Can you shove a whole Twinkie in your mouth in one bite?

57. Keebler Club Crackers. A bit more buttery than Ritz.

56. Kellogg's Rice Krispies Treats. Sure they're easy to make at home, but nothing beats buying them pre-cut and wrapped up.

55. Nasbisco Teddy Grahams (Chocolate). I have Snowman hide these around the apartment. Then I eat them as I find them. I'm kidding. I NEVER do that.

54. Klondike Krunch Ice Cream Sandwiches. Square ice cream...crazy.

53. Fruit Roll-Ups (Strawberry). I think I've actually eaten the plastic on these once or twice.

52. Pringles (Original). I'm notorious for over-eating these and then getting a tummy ache. But do I learn? No.

51. Ruffles (Original). I find Ruffles to be really salty. And that is a good thing.

Junk (Food) In My Trunk #100-76

2006-04-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

My (and I emphasize the "my") Top 100 Junk Foods

Maybe I stole this idea from Vinyl Edition and maybe I didn't. Who's to say who invented the list?

Junk food is a subject near and dear to my heart. Around 6 PM my desire for carbs is at its peak. There is nothing better than coming home, kicking off my shoes, and digging into a bag of potato chips.

Before I get into the list proper, here were my arbitrary guidelines:

Junk food means junk. No yogurt or granola bars.

Junk food only includes food marketed as junk food. No Pop Tarts.

Junk food must be processed.

Junk food does not include candy. Candy is its own list.

Junk food stands alone. Tostitos must be junky enough on their own, without queso dip.

Junk food must acquirable in a deli or grocery store. Therefore, no DQ Blizzards.

100. Tostitos. They'd score higher if I could include dips, but I don't think that's fair to the other junk.

99. Little Debbies Apple Flips. I can't say these taste like apple, but I like their chewiness.

98. Little Debbie Fudge Rounds. I can't say these taste like fudge, but I like their chewiness.

98. Smartfood White Cheddar Cheese Popcorn. This snack may have been my first indication that popcorn came in flavors other than buttered.

96. Keebler Fudge Stripe Cookies. Growing up, these were the ultimate treat.

95. Keebler Vienna Fingers. Growing up, these were a drag. Now, though, I think they're tasty.

94. Bugles. Raise your hand if you put these on your fingers.

93. Sun Chips (Original). I've been known to eat an entire bag of these in one sitting.

92. Little Debbies Pecan Spinwheels. I liked unraveling these and eating it like a stick of gum.

91. Cracker Jacks. Would have scored higher if their prizes didn't bite the big one now.

90. Sun Chips French Onion. French Onion trumps Original, but just barely.

89. Fritos BBQ. I don't love the BBQ flavor, but it's hard to ruin a Frito.

88. Little Debbie Chocolate Chip Snack Cakes. Chocolate cake and cream filling? Sign me up.

87. Creamsicle Orange Bars. Something about the taste of orange and cream is so delicious and comforting.

86. Lance Nipchee Crackers. I love the cheese. If you peel it off the cracker, it actually disintegrates into powder.

85. Girl Scout Thin Mints. Must freeze.

84. Honeymaid Graham Crackers (Chocolate). You can almost trick yourself into believing these are healthy.

83. Nabisco Ginger Snaps. I like ginger. And I like things that snap.

82. Nabsico Nilla Wafers. These taste like a slightly stale security blanket.

81. Rold Gold Classic Style Pretzel Thins. Hard to beat this classic incarnation.

80. Rold Gold Honey Wheat Braided Twists. Okay, not that hard. Salty sweet perfection.

79. Nabisco Chicken In a Biscuit Crackers. I just think it's fun to say.

78. Stacy's Pita Chips (Cinnamon Sugar). Just enough sugar to make it a treat.

77. Koala March Cookies. Known as Koala Yummies in my youth. Who doesn't like chocolate-filled marsupials?

76. Nabisco Mallomars. Like a s'mores minus the skeeters.

Pay No Attention To the Woman In Black

2006-04-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

I like to think of myself as a pretty good co-worker. I'm pretty easy going; have a good sense of humor; don't dish out much gossip (though, oddly, everyone loves to tell me their gossip...how many times have I had to act like I haven't heard something someone is telling me? Really? I had NO idea.)

But there is one particular area I am woefully deficient in: dealing with grief. If your dog gets hit by a car, I can be sad as all get out in my head, but don't expect me to tell you that. When you find out you have ALS, I'll think "Man, that is really awful" but I'm not going to come around and ask you how you're feeling.

Why is this? I want to be a compassionate person (that word again!). I want to be friendly to people, even if we aren't friends. And to be honest, there aren't very many people I work with that I would consider friends. Most of them are just, well, co-workers.

There is a woman at work whose father has died. He was very old and somewhat ill so it was not too shocking. But when she came back to work, everyone gathered round her and asked how she was holding up; it must be hard on your mother; it comes at such a bad time...I mean, I don't even like saying hi to people sometimes and now I'm supposed to put a kind hand on her shoulder and ask her how she's doing? I can't. I really can't.

I know this offends people. I know feelings are hurt, but I just can't make myself do it. Some people think I'm aloof, which is partially true. Some people may even think I am unkind, but that is not true.

Here is what is true: I'm rather private (particularly so at work). I don't even like it when my boss sends out an email about how I'm out for a doctor's appointment. So if I were actually to, say, lose a parent, I would tell my boss and give him explicit instructions not to mention it to anyone. I don't want flowers or a fruit basket. I don't want cards. I don't want condolences. Even if your motives are sincere, I assure you, they are unnecessary.

Therefore, Woman Whose Dad Has Died, I will leave you alone. And I hope, that should the situation ever be reversed, you will bestow on me the same kindness.

Spamtastic

2006-04-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

I get spam. You get spam. We all get spam. It gets sorted neatly into my "spam" folder so I never even see it.

Things like:

-Losing weight has never been so easy!
-SAD TO HAVE SHORT D1CCK
-you have 8 new messages from ladies

go unanswered by me.

Which is fine.

But have you ever seen the names of the people who send these out? They sound like retarded Garbage Pail Kids (no offense to retarded people, garbage men, containers of any kind, or kids). Here are just a few from my spam list:

Abel Stubbs
Lassie T. Petroleum
Stenches E. Hubbard
Gramophone I. Merger
Nabob S. Honeymooner
Lascaux E. Iconoclast
Faisal U. Attica
Catfishes R. Bucked
Scalded D. Sari
Solidness B. Nestle
Trochee D. Haft
Thermoplastic S. Receiva
Schnauzer M. Obscener

I don't know about you, but I want to meet this Trochee D. Haft. We can have some tea and write a few poems together. The great anthropologist Lascaux E. Iconoclast could teach a class on pre-historic art at the Learning Annex. As for Faisal U. Attica, well, he's obviously a terrorist.

Gothamist

2006-04-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

New York is a city that I love and hate to equal degrees.

I'd like to steal this quote from Jimmy Breslin because it's the truest thing I've ever heard. Truer than God or "My name is ____" or gravity.

I knew it early on, after having lived here for only a few years, and I know it now, after nearly eight. For every thing I love about New York (the architecture), there is something I hate ($). For every thing I hate about New York (MTA motherfuckers), there is something I love (the amazing, amazing food).

But this isn't a post about the things I hate about New York. This is a post about:

Bridges.

I’ve been over most of them. I’m particularly well-acquainted with the Queensborough Bridge. During the transit strike last December, I walked over it to work and it was a rather peaceful, meditative way to start the day. During the blackout in 2003, I walked down 43 flights of stairs with a co-worker. He lived in Long Island, so we walked over the bridge together. I was sad I didn’t have my camera, but more than that, I was thankful that I had worn decent walking shoes that day.

I love the Verazzano-Narrows. I think it is beautiful, even if it is connected to Staten Island.

I’ve walked over the Brooklyn Bridge with a birthday cake at dusk. And discovered it’s actually kind of hard to get off because the ramp goes on for a long, long way and suddenly you are nowhere near Grimaldi’s anymore.

Snowman had swatted at a birthday piñata underneath the Williamsburg Bridge. I made it for him and filled it up with candy and lotto tickets.

I’ve taken the George Washington on my way to and from the Berkshires.

When I take a cab home and it’s nighttime and we’re cruising on the top level of the Queensborough, I always take a look over my shoulder at the city all lit up, speeding away from me. That’s my city. A co-op city where everyone owns a little piece. I’m always a little bit awed. I can never quite believe it. Is this how Dorothy felt when she saw the Emerald City? Anything could happen in a city like that.

I lean back in the taxi and smile to myself. Suddenly, I can’t wait for tomorrow.

'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see...
-They Might Be Giants

Prostitution Count in Hollywood: Pretty High

2006-03-31T07:35:00.000-08:00

What is will all the celebrity shilling? Are they not satisfied with being overpaid on screen? Does $10M a picture NOT cover the bills? It seems like no one cares about having a reputation anymore. Dignity? What the hell is that? They only care about having their face in as many places as possible.

Like InStyle.

The April 2006 issue (with Rebecca Romijn on the cover) (she's got a new TV show coming out, after all!) contains 31 celebrity endorsements.

Here's the rundown:

Sasha Cohen for Citizen watches: This is no way makes me want to buy a watch, especially the über-tacky charm bracelet one that's pictured in the ad. C-

Jennifer Love Hewitt for Hanes: I loathe these ads. They make Hewitt look like a tranvestite. (Oh, btw, she's called Jennifer Love in the ads.) F

Colin Mochrie for Nabisco: He's rather unattractive, which I believe breaks the cardinal rule of celebrity shilling. But I do like the snack packs and he's kind of funny. C+

Courteney Cox for Kinerase: I don't know what this product is or does and I do not care. C

Serena Williams for Spongebob Squarepants: You think I'm kidding, but she is seriously in an ad for a cartoon. C-

Charlize Theron for Christian Dior J'Adore: She looks like a frosty bitch. Not interested in smelling like one. C

Carrie Underwood for Skechers: As a B-lister, this ad is at the right level of sponsorship. She is sitting on the floor with a gaggle of lab puppies (coincidentally, labs are the B-listers of the puppy world; everyone knows golden retrievers are the cutest). C+

Halle Berry for Revlon: Revlon dumped some serious coin on this issue. There are beaucoup ads. This one is simple and attractive. B

Gwyneth Paltrow for Damiani: She has weird eye make-up on, but otherwise a clean, pretty ad. B

Hilary Duff for Candies Foundation PSA: Every celeb knows the way to goodwill is to do a PSA. A simple black and white picture does the trick. I WILL do everything I can to prevent teen pregnancy. Thanks for the tip, Hilary! B+

Samaire Armstrong, Ciara, Hilary Duff, and Michelle Trachtenberg for Candies at Kohl's: Yup, when one starlet isn't enough, you get four! Four girls who normally wear D&G and Prada are now dressed up in clothes from Kohl. Puh-leaze. D

Eva Mendes for Revlon: Not as pleasing as Berry's ad. B-

Kate Winslet for American Express: I like these ads. I'm tired of seeing the same ones everywhere, but I still like them. A

Ellen DeGeneres for American Express: see above. A-

Mischa Barton for Keds: I don't like these ads because I don't buy Barton as an "everygirl" who sits on a stack of watermelons in her Keds skimmers. C+

Kate Bosworth for Revlon: She's pretty enough to pull off a make-up advert, but not famous enough to really make it work. B-

Rachel Weisz for Burberry: Not a big fan of the photo montage tack, but Weisz looks lovely. A-

Gwyneth Paltrow for Estée Lauder Pleasures: That whore! Two ads! She looks rosier in this one. B+

Uma Thurman for Tag Heuer: Simple, unfussy. Nice. A

Julie Bowen for Neutrogena: Scraping the bottom of the barrel, aren't they? This ad is lifeless. C-

Queen Latifah for Cover Girl: She looks nice, but can't compete with the Revlon juggernaut. B

Halle Berry for Versace: Another trollop! She looks hot. A

Andie MacDowell for L'Oreal: Back to her modelling roots! Literally...it's an ad for hair color. B-

Mary Kate and Asley Olsen for Badgley Mischka: Not bad. I don't really buy them as refined society people, but I DO buy them as rich girls in fancy clothes who pass out in a druggy haze only to wake up the next morning with vomit on their $10K dresses. Oops. A-

Ashley Judd for American Beauty at Kohl's: Ashley wants us to think she's a simple country girl who shops at Kohl's and wears $20 perfume. I don't buy it. C

Charlize Theron for Aldo fights AIDS PSA: She looks good and there is a big piece of duct tape over her mouth which seems appealing. A

Naomi Watts for David Yurman: I think these ads would benefit by being in color instead of black and white. But still a decent ad. If I could afford it, I'd buy Yurman. A-

I'll post again if I come across a magazine with more than 31 celebrity advertisements. Could be any day now...